An Offer...

I still get chills when I think about it.

I got an offer from Kingston University. I'll be moving to England in September.

I never thought I would be able to say that but it's true! AHHHHHHH! I'm practically bursting with unadulterated joy!

I keep replaying that day in my head. I got the email from UCAS that there was a change to my application and I flipped as always when I get a UCAS email. I went to try and access it but I had my personal ID number saved on Anderson (my laptop...don't judge me..)! So I soldiered through my shift at work and finally was able to leave and make my way home.

The whole way, I kept thinking over scenarios. "What if it's not an offer? What if they just want to verify my address?" "What if it is an offer?" "What if I didn't get in?"

That last one was the worst.

I mulled everything over and prepared myself. I don't remember praying about it but I know my heart was.

As I walked up to my house, I stopped and said out loud to myself, "No matter what happens from this, this is not over. I will go to England and I will live out my dream."

And that was that.

I walked into my house with a new confidence, marched to Anderson and pulled up UCAS Track.

And there it was.

Kingston University --- Unconditional 

For those who are American or are unfamiliar with the way UCAS applications work, the universities send you offers to the programme that you apply to. I applied to Kingston for journalism so the journalism department was the one who would make the decision whether to offer me a place at the university. There are 3 kinds of offers that can be made: unconditional, conditional, or no offer. An unconditional offer means that I do not have to fulfill any extra requirements for a place at the university.

I was give an unconditional offer.

And I was ELATED.

For the next hour, I went through sporadic bouts of tears, laughter, and disbelief. Needless to say, I made sure everyone knew about it and I haven't shut up about it since! Every time I think about it, I thank God because honestly, He's the only reason I got a place.

I even got an email from someone telling me that on my academics alone, I probably wouldn't have been offered a place. Well, he didn't say it in those words but he said that my grades were lower than what they usually accept but because of the personal statement that I made, he was willing to reconsider.

Completely a God thing and I am in awe of His favour.

I love that the personal statement that cut me off from applying to other universities was one of the deciding factors in getting me an offer. Crazy!

Now I have to figure out what the next step is. It's so early to begin doing everything because the Fall 2012 term has pretty much just started! Haha I was expecting to hear something around March but this is unprecedented. God not only has granted me a place at this university but a buttload of time.

Seeing God work in my life in such a way is so encouraging. It makes me want to trust Him more because things keep happening that are completely above me. Since He has given me this place, I know He will provide the other things that are needed to get me there. Money being paramount haha

For the first time in quite a while, I am not afraid. I am not nervous. I am confident. I know God's got this and I am very willing to allow Him to take the reins on this one. :)

Continue to pray for me through this process! Although September is a long way off, I still need to be wise about the time that is spent as well as the money that is spent! My shopping spree days have been shelved and now is the time to baten down the hatches and push forward!

Also I start my new job at The Limited today so wish me luck!! :)

Till Next Time...

I am an Idiot...

I can't even...

Let me first explain something, like the way the UK does their applications.

In the UK, most of the universities operate their applications through an organisation called UCAS (whom I will be blogging for this year btw! I'll explain in another post). Through UCAS, there is one application. In this application, you have a personal statement. It is a statement where you demonstrate why you are right for the course you are applying to. Once you submit it, your application and personal statement is sent to all the universities that you have selected. Then you await an offer for a place at one of the universities (or more if you're super popular).

Since Kingston was my only choice, I wrote my personal statement as an ode to how much I would like to be granted an offer at the university and how much I am right for the journalism programme. So when I went back to see if maybe I should have a back-up plan in place, you know in case I don't get into Kingston, I discovered that this is not to be borne. If I added another choice to my application, my personal statement, which is littered with the words 'Kingston' by the way, would be sent to that certain university.

I am an idiot.

I cannot believe that I didn't think about that when I sent in this application. How did I miss this in all my research?? If I end up not getting into Kingston, it's going to suck because applying to another university probably wouldn't be an option. Not to mention that I've already given UCAS 11 GBP (18 USD) to add another choice. Guess who's probably not getting that money back?

I'm so frustrated that I didn't catch this. But in perspective, $18 isn't a large amount of money considering. Additionally, if I don't get into Kingston, it's not the end of the world. I still have a back-up plan and I'm still going to make efforts to live in the UK. It just might look a bit different than I might have imagined.

It still sucks though...

Till Next Time...

P.S. Sorry for the absence! I've been busy writing posts for ConStruct and working on my UCAS blog which I will talk about in another post once the website re-launches!

Playing Catch Up (With My Life)

Goodness! It has been a while. Let's recap:

Last time I posted, I had just started ConStruct and announced that I was going to apply to Kingston University.

Well, ConStruct has been moving along quite well. Still trying to get my feet under me but it's happening! There are times when I feel completely unqualified and I don't know how to be qualified but that's all apart of the journey, right? Life wouldn't be life without some challenges, ya know?

As far as university goes, I've already applied! I sent out my application about a week and a half/two weeks ago and it's been crazy! I can't believe this is happening. I got my welcome package from the company that handles the UK university applications and literally had to calm myself down. Not because I was excited but because I was freaking. out. I think it was shock, mostly, but I also think it was because I realized that there's really no turning back. I've set this in motion and I have to see it through. I can't bow out now that I'm soooo close to getting to Europe, my childhood dream.

Things for Europe 2013 are shaping up well! I've booked my stay in London and Paris and paid for all my flights. This is also surreal. I never in a million years thought that I would get to say, "I'm going to Europe in January." It just sounds so cool to say! I'm sure people are completely sick of me talking about it but that's why God created earplugs. I will not be quiet. Just sit there and be jealous.

Everything else has been pretty interesting. My best friend moved to Ireland on Wednesday and I have to say, it was one of the hardest things I've experienced. Even though I know I'll be seeing her in January and we'll be seeing more of each other in Europe, it was hard just to know that she wasn't going to live 20 minutes away anymore. I wouldn't be able to just call her up and schedule a lunch/coffee date. But the fact that she is happy in Ireland is helping a lot. As her friend, I should be supporting her despite my feelings. I will never impose my feelings on her decisions simply because 1. that's manipulation; 2. it's already hard for her to leave, I shouldn't make things harder; and 3. I would be hindering her from her happiness. That's not okay.

Work has been good. I officially finish working at Old Navy this week. It was quite a run but I'm glad it's over. I have a new mistress now and she has twin tails, caffeine, and a voice that draws sailors to their deaths. Starbucks, may we make sweet lattes together.

Oh! And Wake Tech is fin. Since none of my credits will transfer to university, I've decided to hold off with my classes and focus on preparing for England. So there's that.

This is such an odd post! Soon I will have to post something of relevance to society. I need some of those in my life. In the meantime, if you are not following ConStruct or its twitter page, you should be ashamed of yourself! If you love me, you'll do these things ;)

Clearly I'm not above guilt trips...

Anyways,

Till Next Time...

Newest Foray & Exciting News...

It's done, guys!!

So in my last blog, I posted that I was going to start my own fashion blog. Well guys, I did it!

I had been planning out things to do with it and my mission for it and when I figured out a name, I bought the domain name and started gathering content. It's still in the early stages but it's official!

The blog is called "ConStruct" and you can go and follow it at constructstyle.com. It's pretty nerve-wracking to have a passion to do something and then doing it. It's going to be an uphill journey to get my posts out there and make a name for myself but I'm ready to do it. I'm done with waiting on other people to give me a chance. I'm giving myself a chance.

I've wanted to go into the fashion journalism field for a very long time but it took me a bit to even gather enough courage to do it. There's a stigma that guys can't like fashion or that they can't go into the fashion world. I refuse to believe that. I have a heart for the artistry that is fashion and I'm not going to let what anyone says stop me from doing it.

With that being said, I have some exciting news! Very few people already know this but whilst I'm on the subject of passion, I think it's the perfect time to tell you something that I've been trying to keep quiet about for a couple months.

A few months ago, I was sitting with a friend getting coffee and somehow we got to talking about passions and about #YOLO. If you haven't heard, #YOLO is a saying that has been wildly circulated and it means, "you only live once". We were talking about how true it is and how ridiculous our conversation was. Hahaha! But we started getting into what our passions were and what we wanted to do with our lives and of course I talked about Europe. I talked about how badly I want to move there and how crazy it sounds and blah blah blah. Then my friend said to me, "so just do it!" Not in a mean way but in a way that jolted me.

Just do it.

So I am.

In the next couple weeks I will be applying to Kingston University. If you haven't heard, Kingston is about 30 minutes outside of London and Kingston University is widely respected in the journalism community. Additionally, they have a graduate programme that includes fashion journalism which is perfect! My application is already finished, I'm literally just waiting for the application date to arrive. If I'm accepted, I will be preparing everything to move to Kingston in August 2013 for the Fall of 2013. But even if I'm not accepted, I will still be making conscious efforts to move there. Nothing is going to get in my way. I have waited far too long waiting for something to just drop in my lap. God has placed this desire in me and it's not going to be satisfied in this country. My mind is made up, my parents support me and that's all I need.

I understand that a lot of people aren't going to understand why I'm planning to leave but, frankly, I don't care. That's their problem. This is my life and I intend to live it. In Europe. :)

When I go to Dublin in January, I will most likely be visiting the campus, familiarising myself with the lay of the land, etc., etc.

I'm so excited and although I'll be sad to leave my friends and family, I'm thrilled with this new endeavour!

This is going to be a huge adventure and I can't wait to see what's going to happen!

Till Next Time...

Afterthoughts...

I think it's really bizarre that after one day, an entire social world was opened to me.

21 is awesome. 

It's not just drinking though. 

...however I have had my fair share of drinks since the the 15th...

It's more about this feeling of freedom. Like, I can go wherever I like. Even in Raleigh, which I deemed the most boring place in the world, was kind of hopping Saturday night when I went out. I've been having tons of fun and I didn't have to be drunk to do it. 

21 has also given me this new found confidence in myself. I feel like an adult now and people are finally seeing that as well even though my ideas and speech patterns have not changed. It's weird. 

Anyways, I just thought I would write my thoughts on being 21. It's been nearly a week since my birthday and things have been amazing. 

I also wanted to update on the whole Europe trip! I feel like I just kind of was like, "BAM! Europe. January. Get happy." Which is true but I would like to write about it just for a bit. So yeah, January 7th I will be boarding a plane to Dublin, Ireland! I'll be there for 2 weeks and whilst I'm there, I'm planning on taking a train into London and spending a couple days there. Then, if all goes very well with timing, hopefully I can trot my way over to Paris for a day or two. Really, I just want to see the Eiffel Tower; cry; drink coffee & eat a croissant in a French cafe; weep; and take pictures of Paris at night. That's it. Then head back to Dublin and leave the 21st. I know this won't be my last time in Europe so I'm not very concerned with doing a crap-ton of things, ya know?

ALSO! I'm working on starting a fashion blog. I want to go into fashion journalism so what better way to get my name and material out there than start a blog! I already have ideas on content and stuff but I can't seem to figure out a name. I want it to stand out and really signify who I am as a person and how I want to be perceived. If you have any ideas, please send them to me! Even if you think it's silly as all crap, send it anyway. Uniqueness thrives when someone has the guts to say or do something that isn't the norm. So yeah! Any help wil do! I also need to figure out a site design so if you're good with those sorts of things, let me know.

I have to be going now! I'm meeting with some friends for adventure times and I need to figure out something to wear. Hahaha!

Till Next Time... :)

Final Thoughts on Year 20 of My Life...(Mini-blog)

20 was an interesting year to say the least.

I made a lot of decisions in my life, I traveled a little bit, I made amazing friends. Most importantly, however, I became a lot bolder. Out of all the years I've been alive, 20 was perhaps the year that I was most self-assured. I know who I am, or at least a large deal of who I am. I know who I want to be and I know where I want to go in life.

For year 21, it will be the year of change and transition; starting with my trip to Ireland in January.

It's going to be awesome.

I'll try and keep you posted.

Goodbye 20! Hello 21...and WINE! hahahaha!

Till Next Time...

P.S. But seriously. Wine.

Welcome To My Brain (Stream of Consciousness)

UGH. I knew once I got back into NC that my blog writing would suffer lol Actually I didn't but I suspected it and I feel like if you expect it even a little bit, it just kind of happens.

Anyways, DC was awesome. I'm pretty sure I lost so much weight and I have legs of steel now. But I'm glad I went even though I feel like I could have stayed at least another day longer. I loved the freedom to be able to do whatever I felt like at the moment. It was much like being on my own which I really enjoy. Sometimes being here I feel like I'm not as independent as I wish I was. I know it's silly but it's the truth.

In other news, I plan on planning a few more trips just to keep my mind fresh. There's a chance I'll be heading to the western parts of NC in a couple of weeks and I hope (fingers crossed) to make a trip to New York before the year is out. I heard that the train ride there is wonderful. Long but wonderful still. :) ALSO, I'm really planning carefully to make a trip to Europe by the new year! Like for real. True story. If things work out, and I plan correctly, I should be able to do it. I will sacrifice my shopping for it which is a big deal!

I am a traveller. Body and soul. I have come to accept that. Therefore, I need to satisfy my need for travel! Hopefully these trips won't just be solo trips and I can convince people to come with me! Introverts need people too ya know.

Gosh, this is such a random post. I'm literally just typing as I'm thinking. You're getting a peek into my brain, guys. Welcome. I hope it's cozy enough for you.

Oh and happy August!!! It's the first day of my favourite month!!
If you don't know why it's my favourite month, we're not friends anymore.
(Just kidding...but really, you should find that out)

The semester also starts this month which is just wonderful lol I'm actually downgrading this semester and only taking 2 online classes (waitlisted for one more though). I felt like it was best with all this financial aid drama because the last thing I want is to be footed with a bill that is above my means, ya know?

There's a lot of other things coming up for the future and I can't wait to share everything here. I really do love this blog and the people that read it. It means a lot to me that there are people who value my words and want to stay updated with my life and with my thoughts. So thanks again :)

Till Next Time...

Visit! All the Museums! (Washington DC - Day Two)

I swear, I'm getting a workout like none other.

I'm pretty sure I've walked a marathon since I have arrived here. I have also already misplaced my Metropass so that's fun -____-

Anyways, a recap from yesterday! I was going to blog last night but I when I finally arrived at my hotel, my body revolted and reverted me to a state of stasis.

Yesterday morning I went to, what felt like, every museum there was in Washington. I went to the National Museum of Art, the Sculpture Garden, the Smithsonian (nearly all of them), the National Archives, and God knows what else. I literally just kept walking and when I saw something that caught my eye, I stopped and went inside.

I have loads of pictures from the art museums. They're all ones that caught my attention and sparked something in me. I must say, that after being surrounded by all that art, I felt so amazingly refreshed! I was totally right in assuming that being around the results of inspirations would inspire me. Go me.

Then I was a total nerd and went to the National Archives. I'm not sure why but I knew that there was something in there that I remembered and I was totally right! I walked in and the minute I saw the sign for the "Rotunda" (which is my new favourite word btw) I remembered! I made a beeline straight there and saw the Constitution, the Bill of Rights and the Declaration of Independence. Now I know what you're thinking, "that's dumb, Steven. They're just documents." I would reply, "Shut up. I love it." Haha! On a similar note, I think it's interesting that I would go to visit these documents that are symbols of America when I want to move to Europe. I guess I will never understand myself or my reasonings.

Okay so after I saw the documents, I was so over everything else and left straightaway to the Smithsonian. I think it was the natural science museum. I walked in and there were children everywhere. So I swiftly made my way through the building, not stopping long anywhere. Well, that was until I saw the signs for the Hope Diamond. I headed up to it and I have to say, it was kind of worth it.
I mean, just look at that thing. It's sickeningly opulent yet I can't quit staring at it.

















So yeah, that happened. After I had seen the diamond, I left and when I walked outside I saw this guy.

 

It's a freaking real life castle in the middle of the Mall.

So naturally I went inside to see what was going on. Sadly, the exhibit inside was closed. So I walked straight through the building to the other side disappointed. :(
But I did get this shot of the beautiful garden before I left.

I guess it wasn't a total lost. (totally was)

I proceeded to try and find some lunch. I took the metro into town and when I came up from the station entrance, I saw this!

A real life protest! I had never seen one before so naturally I stopped to see what was the deal. I have no idea what they were protesting. I think it had something to do with AIDS. I just kept giggling because I thought it would only be natural for my trip to DC to include a protest. I thought for a moment about joining them but then I figured it was best not to. So I went to lunch instead at this awesome place called District of Pi! I have to say, it was one of the tastiest lunches I have had in a while. And my servers were awesome. If you ever go, make sure you're in Alex's section. She's a punky looking girl and she's awesome. She made some awesome suggestions and made sure I was taken care of.

Afterwards, I found another art museum. I think this was the Smithsonian one and it was wonderful. I also got lost in it haha! It's basically a square with a courtyard in the center and multiple entrances. I was silly and put my bag in one of their safes and it took a bit of turning about to find the right entrance. In any regard, it was a very pleasant trip. One of my favourite parts of it was finding this piano forte.

Isn't it beautiful?! This piano and I had a moment together. I really wanted to play it but, let's be real, I was not going to jail for trying to touch artwork. Although I was reprimanded for taking a picture in a "no pictures" exhibit. It was kind of funny in retrospect and I'm pretty sure I'm one of the few people that have a picture of Dolley Madison's red velvet dress.

After leaving the museum, I wandered a bit and then went back to change for the Milo Greene show! After getting to the venue, I was painfully made aware of my social awkwardness. I was literally against the wall trying to figure out what to do with my hands. Ugh. But once the show got started, I was golden. I just went to my own little place and enjoyed the bands. It was brilliant. Definitely my favourite band ever next to the Civil Wars. True story. Even their opener was awesome. I believe they were called Family of the Year. Definitely check them out.
After the show, I went and met the band. They were so nice and personable! I even chatted with Marlana about how I empathized with her. They were having technical problems and she had the face I usually have that says, "I'm completely frustrated with what's going on right now and if I feel like no one is taking this as seriously as I am." Yes. I am fluent in expressions.

Okay well this blog was much longer than I expected! I'm going to try and take it easy this morning, find some food and then head to Georgetown with my cousin! I'm so pumped!! :D

Till Next Time...

Not Your Typical Pleasure Trip...

I have decided that on this DC trip I will find inspiration.

From a recent conversation with one of my closest friends and my parents, I'm realizing very quickly how much I need some inspiration. There's just something strangling my creativity in North Carolina and I don't know what it is. Solution? Escape NC, find some inspiration and bring it back with me!

Sounds simple enough.

I'll be traversing the art galleries today; taking pictures and simply observing when I can. I'm hoping that the results of other people's inspiration sparks something within me that will encourage me to up my own creativity and start writing again.

It seems to be working already because I'm doing two blog posts back to back! Yay for progress!

I'll also be looking around at places that people don't usually go to for inspiration. I don't know what those places are but I'll wander around until I find it. (Safely of course. No worries, family!) Oh and people! I'm beginning to notice that while people annoy me the majority of the time, at a glance, they can inspire me. Not just talking to them but just watching them (in a non-creepy sort of way). I'm inspired a lot by fashion and the way people dress. My thoughts are, "what was going through their brain when they put that on?" whether good or bad.

I'm super pumped about this and I'm excited that this isn't just a vacation but a chance to continue forward with fresh eyes and a renewed sense of being.

So yeah, I just thought I'd jot down a note whilst I sit in this rather warm Starbucks sipping hot coffee (mistake) and munching on this blueberry muffin.

I'll keep you posted!

Till Next Time...

"Ask, and it will be giving to you: seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7 

National Monu-mania...(Washington, D.C. Day One)

Okay! So in case you don't follow me on any of my social media anythings, you don't know that I am in our nation's capitol! Our nation being the United States and our capitol being Washington, D.C.

It's only been the first day and already I've gotten lost...three times. Thank God I have an iPhone and that there is a Starbucks on every corner because I don't think I would be typing this right now. Anyways, I'll start from the beginning and work my way through the day.

I took the train to D.C. which was a very good decision. There was not a peep on the train. It was wonderful. I was able to get a fair amount of reading done and observe the trees/bodies of water of our country.

Water and trees...

Water and more trees...

When the announcement came overhead that we were close to D.C. I was over the moon. 

Happy Steven...?

Clearly I was excited and I managed to get a picture of the first glance of D.C.

'MERICA!

After the madness of dashing through the train station, finding the metro, getting to the hotel and getting settled, I managed to find the nearest coffee headquarters.

Starbucks-ing...like a BOSS...never saying that again...

Then it was exploring time! Now the thing I'm noticing about D.C. is that you can literally walk down a random street, turn a corner and run into a national monument. No kidding. It happened to me. See?

Le Washington Monument

And then again.

That's the J. Edgar Hoover Building BTW

                                                              And again.

Ford's Theatre aka the place Lincoln was shot

And again!

La Casa Blanco (The White House)

 Hello White House, nice to see you. 

It's kind of awesome!

So yeah, that has been my day. I'm excited to see what the rest has in store.
Oh! And I'm staying in an awesome hostel in Dupont Circle which is in the historical part of D.C. and it's wonderful. The guys in my room are surprisingly normal and friendly! Yay for no crazies! :)

Till Next Time...

The Dull Overtaking...

Goodness...have I gotten boring?

This is a question I have constantly asked myself but today it came right in front of my face and sat its little self down.

Do I just play things safe?

Am I not a risk taker?

These are the questions I have been asking myself since this was brought to my face, by a person actually. They didn't call me boring because, really, in my mental state I probably would have cried. Just being real. Today was not a peachy day emotionally. But they kind of alluded that I pretty much play things safe. I have taken a seat on the bench of political correctness that I previously dreaded.

Have I really become boring?

Looking back over my posts I realised that I wanted to do a lot of things this summer:

I wanted to go to Europe.
I wanted to read more.
I wanted to elevate my style.
I wanted to elevate my writing abilities.
I wanted to play more music.

So many things and I have done nothing.

What lame-sauce is this?

It's kind of sad.

When did this happen?

I'm not sure the answer to that question but all I know is that it happened and it probably explains why I've been so unhappy lately. Deep inside my heart is a man who wants to adventure to places he's never been and take risks but lately he's been tied up and taken over by this really dull person honestly. I don't want to be the person that just goes to work and school and does nothing else. That is not the kind of person I want to be.

I want to be a person that says he's going to do something and does it; throwing caution to the wind and having his heart thrum a bit. There's no place for a boring Steven in this world. At least in my eyes.

Starting now, I refuse to be unhappy. I will do things that require a bit of heart thrumming. Now I'm not going to be stupid and go jumping off of cliffs but I will not be resigned to living a humdrum life. No sir.

What that may entail? I have no idea but I'm sure I'll find it. :)

If you have any suggestions, please send them to me! I welcome any input.

In other news, we're a month away from the launch of LifeCity!! It's kind of nerve-wracking. In a good way, I mean. ;)

It's also a month away from my 21st birthday...and the beginning of school. How convenient. Hahaha! I'm sure everything will be great even though the semester starts on my birthday. What kind of timing is that?!

Anyways, continue to pray for my car situation. I'm not worrying but with a month left before school with no prospects, it's not looking very good. However, I'm trusting God. He's got things under control. I don't know what's going on beyond what my eyes can see but I'm assured that it's working for my good. :)

Till Next Time...

P.S. I'm going to start spicing up the blog! I'm still going to be posting about my life and thoughts but I've been thinking about reviewing things or talking about things I love (music, food, etc.)! It will start with my impending trip to DC! Look for pictures and such. ;)

The Anchor...

So I'm sitting here, looking at my class schedule for fall semester and just thinking about so many things.

Yesterday, I registered for all the classes I wanted to take (minus Spanish 111 and History 111 :/) and suddenly I was plagued by all kinds of worry. See, the classes I'm taking are on campus. All of them, minus my Political Science course which is online. This started the snowball of terror about a car, then about paying for classes, paying for books, scolding myself for buying everything this year and countless other things. It finally came to the point, when I was trying to take a nap before work, that I just said, "God, I need peace. There's no freaking way I can do this anymore; all the worrying and fear. I need you to take it." It was at that moment that I started going through my Bible app (I'm such a modern Christian...) and reading passages about peace and being imperfect. I was reminded of God's love and how Jesus wasn't worried when He had so much to worry about. There's a passage in John where Jesus is praying before He's about to be betrayed. He didn't whine to God about how afraid he was, nor did he ask God to give him peace. He knew that God knew what He was doing and in the prayer he prayed, He prayed for us, the future believers in Christ. He prayed that we would receive the same joy that was imparted to him by God, that we would be with him in Heaven and that we would have everything that Jesus had and more! That brought such great perspective! Here I am worrying about my life and how it's going to pan out in the next couple months when Jesus was about to die for the sins of the world and he prayed for people he did not even meet yet.

I say all that to say that I'm done with the worrying. It's stupid and I say that all the time but it really is. I'm quickly discovering how much of a worrier I am and I need to take steps to combat that. With knowledge comes responsibility. Now that I know, I have a mandate to take action, for I lose all rights to complain or worry when I know what combats that and that's getting into the word; bringing myself perspective through reading my Bible and reminding myself that there's so much more to this life. My life is such a flicker so I should be making more of it other than aging myself ungracefully with worry!

This is all coming after a couple of months where I've felt really really distant from God. I don't remember a time in my life where I was so challenged in my faith and how much of a grip God has on my heart. I've realized that whether I read my Bible or pray or even go to meet with my church, music will be the one thing that I will not stop doing. God knows this and He has made worship my anchor in Him and He, my anchor to this world. Worship music is my passion and whenever I start to doubt, God will manage to put me in a situation where I have to come before Him with my music. I don't know any other way to play music than to come before God and that...there's really no describing how interesting that is haha When you're questioning God and faith and then brought to a situation where you are placed in a spot directly in front of Him. It's both confusing and reassuring at the same time. In that moment of playing, I feel God's realness and at the time it kind of made me mad but looking back, it was the only thing keeping me from stepping away from God, to be completely honest. I'm coming through this pretty beaten up but I know my best days are ahead of me. I'm still being molded and shaped and tempered but I still have God and he has me so I'm golden! 


If I could just ask that you all keep me in your prayer. Pray that I pursue God with a recklessness. I'm tired of being safe with God. It's kind of boring haha Also pray that God helps me see what He's doing in the next couple of months and that he continues to provide. Looking back at everything, I'm seeing how much God has provided and suddenly my worry seems meaningless. God had my back so there should not be a reason He still wouldn't have my back. I've already decided that my education is priority and that I need to do whatever it takes; even if it means I have to walk 30 minutes to school every single day. I'm not going to let things get in my way. I have a desire to learn and God will help me, of this I am assured. 


Till Next Time...

A Couple Spiels Equals A Long(ish) Update

I'm a very bad blogger.
Very bad.
I'm sorry reader people.

Anyways, if you have been following me on any part of social media, you know that the semester is over!  It's actually been over for weeks but I've been...okay, I've been lazy but I have an excuse. The week that school ended was the week that I suddenly received an influx of hours at the Starbucks. The next week after that, Dad started a new job! In Cary. Well, he's training elsewhere but it's not at North Hills so that meant that I had to get inventive on how I was getting to work. This brings me to the most wonderful part of not having a car: public transportation! More specifically, busses. *insert sarcastic 'yay'* Since this is not the Tri-state area (New York/New Jersey/Pennsylvania for all you southern people), it means that the public transportation system  is awful in every sense of the word. The bus that runs from my house to North Hills runs hourly. Which means if I have to be at work at 9 am, in order to get there on time, I must wake up at 7:30 am to get ready and be at the stop by 8:15 when it takes off. Then I have to pray that it's not late. Does not make for a very happy Steven.

And let's not even start with 'bus people'. I think I could write for ages all the ridiculous things I've seen in the past few weeks...

The short of that long spiel was to say that I've been really busy and frustrated.

Relying on outside things to make my life function properly is getting old. I can just feel the pressure building in my head and my heart. I'm hoping when I explode all of my anger and frustration, it won't be on a family member because that never ends well.

In other news, I love my job at Starbucks! Everyone is great, the customers are fairly nice and the job is challenging which is interesting but it's what I need. Also, tips every week. Praise the Lord. Financially, I've never been better. I'm on the road to recovery since my bout with the department store.....
In case you were wondering (or in case you weren't wondering...), I'm still working at Old Navy; much less than before but still. Things are actually improving there so I'm going to stick around until it gets bad or until my schedule no longer permits aka when school starts in August.

Speaking of school, I've never been more bored than the past couple of weeks. When I'm not at work or hanging out with friends, I'm sitting in my room on my computer for all hours of the day. It's unhealthy. Literally. I think I've gained like 5 pounds sitting here.
I would love to say that I've been sitting at this computer writing my heart out but that is only half true. Mostly I've been on Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/Pinterest/YouTube/Hulu/StumbleUpon.
Not healthy at all.
Seriously, I'm going to need to find something productive to do before I end up shaving my head simply because I was bored.
....Okay that was an extreme but I would really like something constructive to do this summer besides shop.

Speaking of shopping, LifeCity just bought themselves a keyboard! This means that I can finally play at the church I attend! Yay!
I actually played on Sunday and it was so refreshing to be up and playing songs and...AH! It was great. Wonderful even. But this also means that I'll be stepping up and actually lead things. The Wednesday before last I actually led songs for my missional community.
Like, by myself.
Singing included.
That's never happened for me and it was awesome to be able to do that. I feel honoured that LifeCity would even trust me to do something like that. I was telling one of my friends that if I were still at Journey, I'm pretty sure I would have never had the opportunity to lead worship songs as far as singing is concerned. This is yet another sign that I made the right move. I told God, after trying to do vocals for the Journey worship team and failing, that if He wanted me to sing, He would have to make it happen. And He did! I'm so stoked about what God's going to do next with LifeCity and how I fit into the plan :)

Alrighty! Well that was a fun update! A little scattered but whatevs :)
I promise there will be a more focused blog soon.
Seriously.

Continue to pray for me as you see fit. I greatly appreciate it!

Till Next Time....

The First Time & The Last Time...

Alright blogosphere, hold on to your aprons, this could get messy.

I'm going to talk about "race". Not the intellectualized, buttered up and broadcasted view of race, but race from my perspective and life experience.

Let me preface this by saying that this post was brought on by a wildly offensive text I received a couple of days ago questioning the reasoning behind my delving into my past on Ancestry.com. I have since forgiven this person but my patience has been reached and the damage has been done.

However, just to make sure we're getting everything, let's start at the beginning.

I am of mixed heritage. My father is African-American and my mother is Puerto Rican. I identify as a Puerto Rican man. Not black. I love my father and he loves me. He knows that I identify as Puerto Rican and is fine with it. In fact, he encourages it.

All my life I have dreaded the question, "So, what are you?" knowing that they were implying, "What race are you?"
All my life I have felt the overwhelming need to correct people when they call me "black" or the need to explain myself when I call myself Puerto Rican. Yes, when people ask what race I am, I tell them "Puerto Rican." I put it on every legal document. Job application. Even those dumb Facebook surveys.
I do this not because I'm denying a part of myself.
Not because I don't want to be black but because that's how I was raised. My parents collectively raised me to identify with the Latino heritage and I made the conscious choice to identify as Latino when I got older. Being Puerto Rican is all I know.

Ironically, the subject of my heritage has gotten worse as I've gotten older. Some people (yes, that's plural) have even had the nerve to correct me when I told them I was Puerto Rican.

What?!?

When did it become acceptable in American society to question someone when they tell another person their heritage? Let me be very clear, no one has the right to question my own heritage. The fact that someone would even try and correct me is asinine and illogical. Who gave anyone the right to plaster a label on me and file me with a select few people they know? I refuse to just take a number and join the rest of the people you've color categorized in your own mind.

My favourite is, "why do you dress so white?"

Oh that one just kills me for many reasons. One, you are implying that because my skin is darker that I should dress a specific way. Two, you are implying that I shouldn't be wearing the clothes I'm wearing. Three, you are have openly revealed that in your head, there are groups of people and these people wear certain things, say certain things and do certain things. Also, that because I do not fit your set notion of people, that I am wrong.

Isn't that grand? And people wonder why I don't like people...

Let's get one thing straight: the fact that I don't fit into someone's narrow, uncultured view of the world is thrilling. It means that I'm doing something right :)

Now let me clarify, I'm not writing this on my blog because I desire attention or to start something up. I am writing this as the first and the last. This is the first time I have openly addressed race (more specifically my heritage) and will be the last time.

I refuse to explain myself any longer and I refuse to answer the question, "so what are you?" because it is irrelevant.
Is knowing my heritage going to make you want to talk to me more/less?
Is knowing my heritage going to reveal a great mystery?
Is knowing my heritage going to make you want to get to know me more/less?
Is knowing my heritage going to make me more/less attractive?

If the answer is "no" to any of those questions then stop asking, "so what are you?" You might actually be on the road to being one of the few decent people in this country.
If your answer is "yes" to any of those questions then you really need to take a hard look at the way you view people.

As for me?

I am not a label.

Go color code someone else.

Till Next Time...

Where I Am...

Lately I've been trying to measure where I am.

Not like my physical location, but my state of being.

There has been quite a lot of changes that have happened over the past couple of months and it's in these moments that I like to try and make sure I'm keeping track of everything.

All things considered, I'm in a good place! I haven't been overtly stressed, school is manageable, work is work and my family is in a good place.

For the first time in quite a while, I'm genuinely happy. It's weird to say because many times I feel like things are just whirling about me but I'm at peace. I truly believe that this is God's handiwork. Only God could have given me such peace and this all stems from trusting Him. Like I've said a billion times, I've been training myself to keep remembering that God is sovereign. Anything He does is for my good and in trusting that, I will have peace!

This is probably the first time in my entire life that I've actually begun to truly trust God that He will take care of me and not just say it. I think it started with my decision to jump aboard the LifeCity train actually. That kind of move was the catalyst that got me off my rear and start walking in the faith I say I possess. I expected it to be hard and it was at first. But God, in His mercy, has given me such a peace. I'm just going to enjoy this while I can and allow it to strengthen me to continue to trust God in everything.

On another note, Easter is approaching quickly! I'm not exaggerating when I say it snuck up on me. It really did and I feel so unprepared lol However, I'm excited to go through this weekend keeping in mind Christ's sacrifice that allowed me and billions of people to have life beyond the carnal. He defeated death by dying and paved the way to eternal life through Him! I think that's cause for epic celebration ;) Speaking of celebrating, I'm excited to be with my LifeCity family for our first Easter together! It's going to be wonderful, refreshing and countless other dazzling adjectives :) I'll be praying that you keep your thoughts on Christ and rejoice with the Church! "Christ is risen from the dead, we are one with Him again..."

Oh! Before I forget, I've been listening to Christy Nockels' new album "Into the Glorious" practically non-stop since it was released. It's so worshipful. You can tell that these are her prayers to the Lord and not just songs for an album. She has meditated on these, it has taken root in her and it's reflected in the passion she has in her voice. SO amazing. Goodness gracious. God bless Christy Nockels and her brilliant musical prowess. haha! So if you want to get saved all over again, I recommend downloading it. It's like 10 buckaroos. Not a lot at all.

If you don't get it, I'll just assume you don't want to be saved or you don't love Jesus... :P haha!

Till Next Time...

P.S. How do you like the new layout? Cool huh? :)

Say/Do

Last week, LifeCity started meeting during the week as a missional community. Now, if you don't know what missional community is all about, essentially it is a group of about 15 to 20 people who gather for the specific purpose to grow in their walk with Christ and to reach out to people in their communities. It's really beautiful and worth a look-see. (*SEE BOTTOM!*) Anyways, we talked about the church and what it means to "be the church" and not "go to church". There is this idea that people "go to church" which is actually incorrect theology. We are the church. Everywhere we go, we are the church.

This got me thinking about the church, the mission of the church, our responsibility as the church and a bunch of other things. I was super quiet in our meeting simply because I was processing through all this information and drawing connections and getting a better understanding. But now I'm ready to talk! Now, to preface, I'm not a Bible scholar (surprise!). I'm simply seeing and responding to what I see.

I feel like the church as a whole is kind of going through a bit of reform of sorts. We've gotten so accustomed to saying, "we're going to church guys!" that we've kind of lost track of what we're actually doing. Some of us know that we're saying, "we are the church, we're just going to a building" but, thankfully, people don't know what we are thinking! We, as the church, cannot continue to go around saying, "we're going to church" simply because people who are not in the church begin to foster an incorrect ideology that the church is a building and not a body of people. They are, in essence, being deceived and therefore changing any type of idea they had about the church. We, as the church, need to say what we mean and not just expect people to just know. This extends all ways of life but this is most essential in the church. I feel like the church as a whole is needing to backpedal and say, "hey, we're sorry for saying this. We actually meant to say this," to billions of people. And if you think we don't, just ask someone what they think about the church. Chances are that you're not going to get nice answers and the word that might surface is the word hypocrisy because the church is saying one thing and doing another.

This change of thought is what is going to revive the church. Saying that, "we are the church" is a manner of ownership. We are taking responsibility over our faith and challenging ourselves in the process to be the face of the church because, I mean, we are. Every where we go. Everyone we talk to. We are direct representations of the church as a whole whether it is fair or not. People who have no idea of the church are watching what you do at every moment and they will judge the church as a whole based on what you do. Yes, that is a great burden to bear but what a beautiful burden it is! Jesus, by calling you to be apart of His family, is essentially saying, "I trust you to represent my church everywhere you go. I have confidence in you to carry My Name well."

I get chills when I think about that.


This is what it means to be an ambassador for Christ. And as ambassadors, we have a responsibility that if we see a need, we shouldn't need to send them to a pastor or an elder, we should gladly move forward and help fulfill the need. This reminds me when the disciples sent the sick to Jesus not realizing that the same power that rested in Christ also rested within them.

Can you imagine if they came to that realization? Imagine the impact.

Now apply that to today.

Do you see?

I think people are actually kind of terrified by saying, "we are the church" otherwise we would jump to the opportunity to say it. By saying, "I am the church" we're are slapping a spotlight on our lives and suddenly everything counts. Our lives suddenly have a standard to live up to and people are afraid to embark on that. And I'm no exception! I think it's terrifying to think that my life as a whole is a direct representation of how people perceive the church. But I mean, that's small compared to the fact that Christ gave His entire life for us. The very least He is requiring of us is to live right and reflect His transformation in our lives. I mean, really...

Goodness, the more I think about the church and our role in the world and our responsibility the more I come to more realizations of Jesus' view of the church. It's a beautiful think to think about.

So that's my two-cents! I would love to hear what people think about this subject.

Till Next Time...

**If you wanted to know more about missional community, there's an awesome video that I was shown that shows it in action. It's about 15 minutes long but it's worth every bit of your time. Missional Community

The Path of Most Resistance...

Where to start!

So the Passion: White Flag album came out about a week ago and 1. it has been on consistently since the release and the soundtrack to work & 2. it has been reminding me about everything that went on during Passion. During that week, God was just so big to me! Seeing thousands of people gathered for the Lord is proof enough that He is working. Knowing that, I'm comparing to where I am now post-Passion, post the experience, post-Passion high. God has me in transition. He is moving me from a season to a new season and it's great! And God is still big! Even bigger now that I am in a place where I need to trust Him and I need to lean on Him. God has to be big. Bigger than anything I can conceive. And He is! :)

That being said, I have to report that there have been no meltdowns since leaving Journey! Yay! There were, however, many tears on my last Sunday. So. many. tears. But this is a good thing. I was talking to my friend the other day and just telling her that I'm expecting it to be difficult. So when things are difficult, I know that it's because I'm moving in the right direction. Growth does not come about without pain and difficultly. I think a lot of people don't think about that. They want to grow in Christ but the minute they feel some resistance, they stop and ask God to take away their pain. In that moment I can just imagine God being like, "what are you expecting me to do?!?"

Darby actually spoke about this at Refuel last Wednesday. He said, "when we take away trials and struggles, we take away the avenue of growth." And this is true in every instance. I believe he likened growth to weight lifting. There's going to be resistance there. It's going to be uncomfortable and painful but pressing on will yield growth.

Anyways, that was a bit of a rabbit trail but it needed to be addressed. :) So transitioning! Yes. It's going great. I've finally begun to let myself be happy and excited about being at LifeCity. Before, I felt a little hesitant about voicing my happiness to a group of my friends who knew I was leaving and were sad about it. But now, I'm allowing myself to be excited! I shouldn't have to squelch my joy. God is doing amazing things which calls for excitement and joy!

I'm looking forward to meeting with my missional community group next week and hopefully starting to play in a worship capacity soon! I've missed playing music and worship is my passion. Being away from it has made me a little antsy haha But I've been reminding myself of something that has been my rock when things get a little wonky. I remind myself of God's sovereignty. Anything He does is for my good even when it doesn't look how I expect it to look. He has my best interest in mind and I have no place to question God's methods :) It has been working because I'm not stressing as much and I've just been at peace with things going on around me :)

Also, there's a song from the Passion album that is pretty much my anthem. Helps with the "not stressing as much" :) Take a listen and just let it be your prayer. It's pretty amazing. :)

You Revive Me

Till Next Time...

Dispelling the Whispers: Rumour Has It...

:sigh:


I guess it's about time to address the whispers going around and speeding through the grapevine. I always knew that word traveled fast around Journey but it's just different when I experience is first hand. 1. It ruins all surprises and 2. It gets to important people well before I can get to these certain important people...

However, now that I have informed confirmed certain things to certain important people, I felt it would be good for the rest of the populace to hear straight from the horse's mouth.

The rumours are true. I have decided to be a part of a core team of people to help launch LifeCity Church in August! LifeCity is led by Darby Jurls and his wife Amy and I'm behind them 100%. I believe in the vision they have and I trust Darby implicitly. I'm very excited and completely terrified in the best way possible haha!

I always knew that I was supposed to make a big move of faith this year and this is it! Of course, I thought it was Europe but I'm actually quite thrilled that it isn't. In fact, I'm pretty sure that this is better that Europe. I can already feel God stretching me to do things and step out in faith in a completely different way and it's awesome!

It's also kind of sad because Journey has been my home for 6 years and just as I'm getting into a comfortable swing, God is scooping me out and setting me on my way lol But that's also a part of the problem. I have become quite comfortable at Journey and kind of plateaued spiritually. In Jimmy's message, something that stuck out to me is that growing isn't comfortable. That convicted me for quite a while so I decided to do something about it.

In all of this, in leaving Journey, I've actually come to understand it better which is completely weird. I'm finally understanding the vision of Journey and the strategy that Jimmy has. Journey is a launching pad. It trains up new believers to maturity and then launches them into the world to fulfill the mission Christ set out for the Church. I always sort of understood it in a way while I was attending but looking back I can see it clearly now. I grew up so much in these past 6 years and now I'm nearing the launching zone with these great people.

I can already feel like it's going to be hard making the transition but it's not going to actually hit home until March 18th (yes, March) when we branch off from Journey and meet as a core team for 6 months until we launch. However, this does not mean the end of all friendships at Journey; I am not falling off the face of the planet. I live like 2 blocks away from the church for crying out loud! I'm trying to hold on to that fact to keep from emotionally spiraling haha!

So the journey begins, and I'm ready for it. I'm currently actively looking for a car and getting started with things in that regard. It's going to be tough because I have a super low budget but my God is greater! I told God, "I have $1,000. I need a car. I'm giving this to You and trusting that You will come through." So that's that! I'm still searching but I know God is working already :)

Till Next Time...

It's Time To Grow Up!

It has been nearly a month since I have blogged.

Problem.

Well at least I have some material to go on! First I will provide that update about school. I've had a lot of people asking me how school is going and I'm not sure how to answer that question. It changes over time. So I figured I would just sit down and really give an overview of my college "experience". I use the word "experience" lightly because I'm only taking one class on campus so I'm not really experiencing much in my opinion.
As far as my performance with school work, I'm doing very well. My grades are good which is more that I was expecting. The material is a little more difficult than I was expecting (Math being the odd exception) but I'm sure I'll get the hang of everything quickly. The assignments are overwhelming. More than once, I have finished my to-do list for the week and just stared at all the crap I have to get done. With the addition of work and other life things, it's pretty stressful
As far as my opinion of college: I'm going to be honest. I hate it. I'm not sure if it's just the school or the courses I'm taking but I don't like it at all. More than once I've caught myself in the middle of an assignment and asked myself, "What am I doing? Why am I doing this?". With that said, I am by no means going to quit. I'm going to finish out the semester and then complete fall semester before making any decisions as to whether I stay or not.

On another note, I've continued to think about my summer, what I shall be doing then and where I shall be going. I've been keeping in contact with my friend in Ireland and he's been helping me get information about internships in the UK. In fact, right after I finish here, I will be looking over some information he sent me! Granted, he sent it to me on the 1st of the month but who's paying attention, right? In addition to Europe, there are whispers of another option for the summer that I won't go into great detail about because nothing is set in stone but rest assured that it is a great potential opportunity ;)

And finally, my pastor is going through a series called "Time To Grow Up" which has been a lot of reiteration but much needed reiteration. Every year, my pastor challenges us to step out in faith and grow up. Something that stood out to me was that he said that you're not growing if you're comfortable (or something to that regard) and I've been pretty comfortable in some parts of my life. Last year it was Berklee which was such a learning experience and brought a lot of growing! This year is different. I was telling one of my friends that honestly, I haven't been praying about it. 1) because it's scary. I don't know what God will say. 2) because I'm afraid of what He will say and it will be what I'm thinking He's going to say. Does that make sense?
So if you would please pray for me that would be awesome. Pray for boldness and confidence in what God is going to say. Although I am afraid, I know that God is not going to lead me into abandonment. He is not a God to take you down a road that He will not walk with you down. I believe that wholeheartedly.

So I'm thinking that this is the year of boldness and faith! How that should be different than any year, I'm not sure but I am declaring it. Fear is not of God so therefore, I don't want it. Bring on the bold, baby! Wooo! :)

Till Next Time...

Welcome to 2012! Please Fasten Your Seat Belts, Thank You...

Wow! It's 2012!

To say that the beginning of 2012 was eventful is an understatement! Remember that scene in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory (the original, not the remake) where they're on the boat and it goes through the tunnel? (Yes, the really creepy scene) Well that how I felt and still feel to this day, minus the creepy. Haha!

First there was New Year's Eve which I spent with my family and with my best friend (sparkling cider, what what?!), then there was New Year's Day which was spent with my second family: Journey Church. Then the very next day began the first day of PASSION CONFERENCE! I and eleven people from my college small group loaded up into a van and headed down to "Hotlanta" which was actually quite freaking cold (it flurried one night!). As expected, the first day is always the one that passes by the fastest because you're driving, getting hotel things in order, registration, crowds of people, excitement, bags and tags and lanyards and wristbands and places here and there and everywhere!

Anyways, the rest of the week was just amazing. I always go to Passion expecting but not expecting.
I'll explain.
I'm expecting God to move in my life but I'm not expecting anything specifically if that makes any sense at all. I don't want to limit God in my thinking so by simply expecting Him to have His way, I'm opening the door for anything He has to throw at me. And He threw a lot! The main cause for this week was about human trafficking and slavery in the world. There are on average, 27 million slaves in the world which is the highest it has ever been in human history. That's ridiculous. When I heard about it, I was blown away. I had heard of Free Trade periodically but never really investigated what it really was. Little did I know that I was closing myself off to the fact that there are 27 million people who are being denied their God given right to be free people.

The whole week was kind of branching off of that and let me tell you, God certainly moved. Some of my favorite moments of the week was Beth Moore. She spoke on the woman with the issue of blood. I had heard of the story but no one ever bothered to speak on it. She explained her affliction and that her act of reaching for Jesus' garment that she was 1) exhibiting faith that Jesus would heal her and 2) basically coming out in public that she was unclean and defiled. Beth said something that I put a star next to in my notes and it was "do not sit and wait for something to happen, have faith and reach". That spoke volumes to me seeing that I have been planning to go to Europe this summer. Faith will be the only way this will happen.

Another was Christine Caine. I love her so much. 1) because she's Australian and 2) her method of speaking is very engaging and powerful. She spoke on compassion and how we as the church ought to not sit on our haunches and nod meaningfully when we hear of something like slavery. We cannot call that compassion. She said that compassion isn't compassion until you get up and do something about it. We as the church need to mobilise and reach out because that's what Jesus did for us. Christine said something else that resounded with me and it was that "God wants to use rescued people to rescue people". That's so true and I think we as Christians forget about that. We get caught up in everything else that we forget that we were rescued and that Jesus called us to reach out and tell other people that their salvation rest in Jesus Christ.

Next was John Piper. Oh Piper haha! I'm always daunted when he walks onto the platform and preaches because his method of teaching is very...hard to follow if you're not devoting all of your attention to what he is saying. But what he says is so profound and amazing that you respect the headache you receive afterwards! Anyways, he spoke about what it truly means to be free. His entire message is incredible but the part that hit me the hardest was this: "Freedom is being so in love with Christ that you can do what you love to do and be in accordance with His will". I mean...wow. Just thinking about that begins to break down the walls in my mind. We tend to box God in as ask "what is Your will for my life?". What John and (eventually) Louie Giglio say is that God's will for your life is right here and now. What ever aspirations you have, do them and that is God's will for your life. God wants us to be free! Free to love Him and to do what we love for Him. It's amazing really. Simply amazing.

And lastly, the candlelight vigil. All through the week, Passion had begun construction on a sculpture of a hand on the International Plaza in Atlanta that would represent Freedom. (see picture)

Freedom Hand Passion 2012

On the last night of the conference, we were asked to walk in complete silence to the International Plaza, unlit candles in hand. I felt like that was such a powerful moment. 45,000 18 to 25 year olds walking in complete silence to one location. That spoke volumes and still gives me chills when I think about it.
When it became midnight, we lit the candles and then when the hand finally lit, we shouted as loud as we could. It was amazing! Just being there in that moment with all those people who were on the same page that I was, shouting for freedom and shouting for Christ was just indescribable.

So to say that Passion was life changing is an understatement. I'll always carry that week with me and I can feel that I'm changed. I'm actually going through an adjustment phase because it's difficult for me to actually get back into the swing of things and start with school (I will talk about that in a later post).

Anyways, if you are still reading, congratulations! This was a very lengthy post and you are a champ for reading it all! :)

Till Next Time...