I Have Decided...

Hey everyone

I'm sure this post won't come as a surprise to some but I feel like I still should address it in an effort to avoid retelling this over and over and over again. (Although I'm sure I'm going to rehash this for forseeable future...)
I'm going to touch on a few things in this post and it may be a bit long but bear with me!

I've been posting on this blog a lot about my dreams and aspirations; mostly for my own personal sanity but also to help inspire other people to dream bigger. There's one thing that I want to be in this world and that's an inspiration. 

Incredibly, I've gotten story after story from people who have read my blog and caused them to look at the world as an option. This blows me away and I'm honoured that people are reading my words and  are being inspired. I love that some people are seeing that America, while great in its own way and full of opportunity, is not everything. There is a whole world to explore and experience, you just have to refuse to sell yourself short, take the first step and leap. 

However, there is a flipside to everything. There is the success story, the one they write about in books,  and then there is the short end of the stick. I seem to be the poster child for the latter; being the example for the reality of pursuing dreams and aspirations.

With that being said, due to extreme financial difficulty and roadblocks, I will neither be moving to England nor attending Kingston University in the fall. 

Although I've been preparing my heart for this kind of outcome, there aren't many words to describe how completely gutted I am about all this. It's one thing to have never been accepted to university, it's a completely separate matter entirely being accepted to university and being unable to attend. It's no secret that I have an immense desire to attend university and pursue further education so this blow is a very painful one. I'm not closing the door for God to do something ridiculously insane but the current situation is pretty bleak and hurts like a motherfather.

Despite this outcome, I am looking to the positives. This opens my future to something completely different. Like I was telling someone the other day, I can always move to England, it's just a matter of when. I'm young. I have my whole life ahead of me to grow. This is only a minor setback. I said it before I opened what would be my acceptance email, even if this doesn't happen, moving to Europe is still on the table. I'm not giving up; just exploring another avenue. 

Now becomes the question: what next?? I'll be in America a bit longer so I guess I will have to make the best of it. ;)

I'm not sure what the next step looks like but rest assured that I won't be kept down by this setback. Life is too short to wallow in what has passed (or will pass), so I will be considering other options for the fall. 

As for school, I don't really know what that looks like now. I'm not sure if this is God's way of telling me to get an education here in America or not but if He wants me to go to school, He will have to point me in the right direction. I'm at my wits end with this whole thing. The pursuit of higher education should never be this difficult, in my opinion. My only issue is my utter distaste for the American school system. If God wants me to go to school here in America, I'm hoping patience will be attached to the package...next to a big, fat check...I'm kidding!

Okay, okay I was kidding a little...but you laughed, I know you did.

I will still continue to write (of course), I'll still be working on my style blog and providing excellent life commentary on Twitter & Instagram. Rest assured, I'm not going to let this get me down. :) 

Anyway, thank you guys for supporting me and cheering me on. It is greatly appreciated and I love you for it. I hope you continue to be in my corner in the future and follow along with me. In two weeks I'll be 22 and I'm actually looking forward to seeing what is next for me. Sure I won't be making Europe arrangements but that's still cool...yeah...:ahem:....lol 

To those who didn't want me to leave in the first place, you get to keep me for a while! 

You're welcome. ;) 

Till Next Time...

My Limitless God

Happy Monday!

So here's the thing, I serve a limitless God.

I think I forget that almost every day until things like Kingston happen.

From my last post, you can probably tell that I was a fair bit disheartened.

But I've cried about it (a few times) and now it's time to hold my head up and put my foot to the pedal.

I will not let fear overtake my life nor hinder me from going for something that I am already predestined for. God did not bring me this far to desert me.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

This being said, I have set up a fund. In addition to seeking out governmental funding and scholarships, I have set up a place where my friends and family can help me get to Kingston.

You know how I hate asking for things but I'm setting my pride aside because you don't get anything if you don't ask, right?

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find' knock, and it will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

"In that day you will ask nothing of me. Truly, truly I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full." John 16:23-24

I will be posting this everywhere so prepare to be sick of me. Persistence isn't my strong suit but it can and will be. I know I'm not raising money to build orphanages in Indonesia but God shows up for them, I do not doubt He will show up for me.

This is the widget that I've created for the fund:

If you would like the code to the widget, just comment below and I'll give it to you to share. 

If widgets aren't your cup of tea, just share this link: gofundme.com/kingstonfund. 

Super excited to see what God is going to do!

Love you guys and help me get to Kingston!!!

Till Next Time...

Cross the Threshold...

Adulthood.

Land of full-time jobs, benefits, vacation time and 401ks.

Housed within a fortress of mile high, steel walls. 

Guarded by employers fending off the inexperiences.

Meanwhile, those with connections inside, are flown in via helicopter or smuggled in through the holes in the wall. 

That may be an exaggeration but that's exactly what it feels like. I know many people who are in my situation, who desire consistency and an ample salary to do the things we all need to do. 

I have grown weary of the retail world and I want to regain the humanity years of retail has stolen from me. I want to wake up and not dread my job. I want to be happy and work and make a living. Is that too much to ask? 

Apparently so...

In May, school will send me information and before long I will be flying away to Europe, passport and visa in hand. With it fast approaching, I have begun to really really think about what I want from my life. 

I want to be happy and to quit wasting my time with things I don't even care about. I want to write. I want to love my job. I want to make a difference. I want to help people. I am sick and tired of feeling trapped by my work experience. 

I want someone to see my potential and drive. I want to be respected. I want to be taught. I want to be loved. I want to prove to people that I am not what I seem. I want to cross the threshold into the unknown and pave the way for others to follow suit. 

I am bold. 

I am impassioned. 

I am driven.

I am me. 

I am capable of doing anything.

I just have to find a way to make people see it. I must make them have no other choice but to see it. 

European Adventure: Part One

Happy Tuesday! 

So it happened. 

I finally went to Europe. 

Just to be able to say that is remarkable and I can hardly believe it's true. I feel like I've been living a dream the past two weeks. Well...really I have! I've just woken up whilst being home and realising that it could be a permanent reality with school fast approaching. 

I kept a sort of diary during my travels and I thought it would be cool to share portions of it on my blog. It will be done in parts because my trip was quite long and I don't want to type a twelve page dissertation haha! 

Anyways, I'll get on with it. 

(In Raleigh...)

Sitting in my room before heading to the airport, all my bags are packed...

At the gate! Smells like airport. It's always interesting looking at everyone at the gates. Such a diverse grouping. I love the fact that you don't really know everyone's final destination. 

I'm constantly praying but it's for the silliest thing: my bags. This is the first time I have checked my bags for a flight and I am praying that they make it to Dublin safely. I've already taken precautions but I never know! 

I can't believe I'm going to Europe and that by this time tomorrow I will be halfway across an ocean heading to Ireland. Very surreal. Becca is so excited! She's planning all these secret things...

This morning was a little rough. I knew I would cry sometime today but there was something about seeing my mom this morning and bidding her goodbye that made me cry. This is a dream come true. Really cheesy but it is. I am going to a place that before now, I only dreamed and read about. 

My daddy is so funny. I know he doesn't like getting up early in the morning which made seeing his sleepy face in my doorway even more hilarious. We talked the whole way to the airport. Mostly about how he hopes my flights go well and that he hopes I get a good seat on the plane...

I can't wait to see my uncle in Chicago! I have an immense layover and he's being so gracious and showing me about the city. I haven't seen him in ages! ...

(In Chicago...)

My day in Chicago was so excellent! I got to spend most of my day with my uncle and it was so fun talking with him and everything. I am currently sitting at the gate waiting to board my flight to Dublin. I'm kind of in shock. I think this is an acute case of out-of-body syndrome or something. I need to process...

That was all I wrote for the day but when I landed, which was technically the second day of my holiday, Becca and Stephen whisked me away and showed me so much of Dublin. We first went to Stephen's house where I changed and met his younger brother. Then we headed off to Dundrum to this giant mall. There we *ahem* spent a substantial amount of currency on clothes. Afterwards, we went straightaway into town. I couldn't tell you all the streets we went down (I think it was Dame Street and a few others) but there was so much to entertain. Little coffeeshops down alleys and long thoroughfares of shops. Tons of people and great weather abounded as well. Towards the evening, we went to a restaurant called Crackbird and once I actually tasted the chicken, I understood why it was thusly named. It's literally the best chicken I have ever put into my mouth. Honestly. If you ever find yourself in Dublin, go to Crackbird. Please. You will not be disappointed. It'll change your life. 

After dinner, we headed off to Becca's, where I was staying. There I met her housemates and by the time the day came to a close, it was nearly one in the morning. Becca and Stephen had successfully kept me up all day so when I hit the pillow, there was no waking up until the proper time. Fair play to them both! 

The next day, which would be day three, Becca and I hit the town! We started off going to Butler's Chocolate shop to get some hot chocolate which was by far the tastiest hot chocolate I have tasted. Next we headed to Hodges Figgis which is a bookstore in Dublin. Three floors of gorgeous books from all around the world and I was just in heaven. From there, we headed to St. Stephen's Green Park. The park is enormous. Becca and I took the opportunity to take loads of photos and stalk the geese, ducks and swans that populated the park's lovely ponds. Becca and I continued to paint the town red going to tons of shops including Brown Thomas, a luxury department store similar to Harrods.

We began our evening with crepes at Lemon and wine before heading to Becca's friend, Stef's house for dinner with another one of her friends, Aisling. 

It was such a fantastic couple of days and my next post will continue with my trip to London! 

Till Next Time...

P.S. Part one photos from the trip are HERE! Part two photos from London are HERE!

An Offer...

I still get chills when I think about it.

I got an offer from Kingston University. I'll be moving to England in September.

I never thought I would be able to say that but it's true! AHHHHHHH! I'm practically bursting with unadulterated joy!

I keep replaying that day in my head. I got the email from UCAS that there was a change to my application and I flipped as always when I get a UCAS email. I went to try and access it but I had my personal ID number saved on Anderson (my laptop...don't judge me..)! So I soldiered through my shift at work and finally was able to leave and make my way home.

The whole way, I kept thinking over scenarios. "What if it's not an offer? What if they just want to verify my address?" "What if it is an offer?" "What if I didn't get in?"

That last one was the worst.

I mulled everything over and prepared myself. I don't remember praying about it but I know my heart was.

As I walked up to my house, I stopped and said out loud to myself, "No matter what happens from this, this is not over. I will go to England and I will live out my dream."

And that was that.

I walked into my house with a new confidence, marched to Anderson and pulled up UCAS Track.

And there it was.

Kingston University --- Unconditional 

For those who are American or are unfamiliar with the way UCAS applications work, the universities send you offers to the programme that you apply to. I applied to Kingston for journalism so the journalism department was the one who would make the decision whether to offer me a place at the university. There are 3 kinds of offers that can be made: unconditional, conditional, or no offer. An unconditional offer means that I do not have to fulfill any extra requirements for a place at the university.

I was give an unconditional offer.

And I was ELATED.

For the next hour, I went through sporadic bouts of tears, laughter, and disbelief. Needless to say, I made sure everyone knew about it and I haven't shut up about it since! Every time I think about it, I thank God because honestly, He's the only reason I got a place.

I even got an email from someone telling me that on my academics alone, I probably wouldn't have been offered a place. Well, he didn't say it in those words but he said that my grades were lower than what they usually accept but because of the personal statement that I made, he was willing to reconsider.

Completely a God thing and I am in awe of His favour.

I love that the personal statement that cut me off from applying to other universities was one of the deciding factors in getting me an offer. Crazy!

Now I have to figure out what the next step is. It's so early to begin doing everything because the Fall 2012 term has pretty much just started! Haha I was expecting to hear something around March but this is unprecedented. God not only has granted me a place at this university but a buttload of time.

Seeing God work in my life in such a way is so encouraging. It makes me want to trust Him more because things keep happening that are completely above me. Since He has given me this place, I know He will provide the other things that are needed to get me there. Money being paramount haha

For the first time in quite a while, I am not afraid. I am not nervous. I am confident. I know God's got this and I am very willing to allow Him to take the reins on this one. :)

Continue to pray for me through this process! Although September is a long way off, I still need to be wise about the time that is spent as well as the money that is spent! My shopping spree days have been shelved and now is the time to baten down the hatches and push forward!

Also I start my new job at The Limited today so wish me luck!! :)

Till Next Time...

Playing Catch Up (With My Life)

Goodness! It has been a while. Let's recap:

Last time I posted, I had just started ConStruct and announced that I was going to apply to Kingston University.

Well, ConStruct has been moving along quite well. Still trying to get my feet under me but it's happening! There are times when I feel completely unqualified and I don't know how to be qualified but that's all apart of the journey, right? Life wouldn't be life without some challenges, ya know?

As far as university goes, I've already applied! I sent out my application about a week and a half/two weeks ago and it's been crazy! I can't believe this is happening. I got my welcome package from the company that handles the UK university applications and literally had to calm myself down. Not because I was excited but because I was freaking. out. I think it was shock, mostly, but I also think it was because I realized that there's really no turning back. I've set this in motion and I have to see it through. I can't bow out now that I'm soooo close to getting to Europe, my childhood dream.

Things for Europe 2013 are shaping up well! I've booked my stay in London and Paris and paid for all my flights. This is also surreal. I never in a million years thought that I would get to say, "I'm going to Europe in January." It just sounds so cool to say! I'm sure people are completely sick of me talking about it but that's why God created earplugs. I will not be quiet. Just sit there and be jealous.

Everything else has been pretty interesting. My best friend moved to Ireland on Wednesday and I have to say, it was one of the hardest things I've experienced. Even though I know I'll be seeing her in January and we'll be seeing more of each other in Europe, it was hard just to know that she wasn't going to live 20 minutes away anymore. I wouldn't be able to just call her up and schedule a lunch/coffee date. But the fact that she is happy in Ireland is helping a lot. As her friend, I should be supporting her despite my feelings. I will never impose my feelings on her decisions simply because 1. that's manipulation; 2. it's already hard for her to leave, I shouldn't make things harder; and 3. I would be hindering her from her happiness. That's not okay.

Work has been good. I officially finish working at Old Navy this week. It was quite a run but I'm glad it's over. I have a new mistress now and she has twin tails, caffeine, and a voice that draws sailors to their deaths. Starbucks, may we make sweet lattes together.

Oh! And Wake Tech is fin. Since none of my credits will transfer to university, I've decided to hold off with my classes and focus on preparing for England. So there's that.

This is such an odd post! Soon I will have to post something of relevance to society. I need some of those in my life. In the meantime, if you are not following ConStruct or its twitter page, you should be ashamed of yourself! If you love me, you'll do these things ;)

Clearly I'm not above guilt trips...

Anyways,

Till Next Time...

Newest Foray & Exciting News...

It's done, guys!!

So in my last blog, I posted that I was going to start my own fashion blog. Well guys, I did it!

I had been planning out things to do with it and my mission for it and when I figured out a name, I bought the domain name and started gathering content. It's still in the early stages but it's official!

The blog is called "ConStruct" and you can go and follow it at constructstyle.com. It's pretty nerve-wracking to have a passion to do something and then doing it. It's going to be an uphill journey to get my posts out there and make a name for myself but I'm ready to do it. I'm done with waiting on other people to give me a chance. I'm giving myself a chance.

I've wanted to go into the fashion journalism field for a very long time but it took me a bit to even gather enough courage to do it. There's a stigma that guys can't like fashion or that they can't go into the fashion world. I refuse to believe that. I have a heart for the artistry that is fashion and I'm not going to let what anyone says stop me from doing it.

With that being said, I have some exciting news! Very few people already know this but whilst I'm on the subject of passion, I think it's the perfect time to tell you something that I've been trying to keep quiet about for a couple months.

A few months ago, I was sitting with a friend getting coffee and somehow we got to talking about passions and about #YOLO. If you haven't heard, #YOLO is a saying that has been wildly circulated and it means, "you only live once". We were talking about how true it is and how ridiculous our conversation was. Hahaha! But we started getting into what our passions were and what we wanted to do with our lives and of course I talked about Europe. I talked about how badly I want to move there and how crazy it sounds and blah blah blah. Then my friend said to me, "so just do it!" Not in a mean way but in a way that jolted me.

Just do it.

So I am.

In the next couple weeks I will be applying to Kingston University. If you haven't heard, Kingston is about 30 minutes outside of London and Kingston University is widely respected in the journalism community. Additionally, they have a graduate programme that includes fashion journalism which is perfect! My application is already finished, I'm literally just waiting for the application date to arrive. If I'm accepted, I will be preparing everything to move to Kingston in August 2013 for the Fall of 2013. But even if I'm not accepted, I will still be making conscious efforts to move there. Nothing is going to get in my way. I have waited far too long waiting for something to just drop in my lap. God has placed this desire in me and it's not going to be satisfied in this country. My mind is made up, my parents support me and that's all I need.

I understand that a lot of people aren't going to understand why I'm planning to leave but, frankly, I don't care. That's their problem. This is my life and I intend to live it. In Europe. :)

When I go to Dublin in January, I will most likely be visiting the campus, familiarising myself with the lay of the land, etc., etc.

I'm so excited and although I'll be sad to leave my friends and family, I'm thrilled with this new endeavour!

This is going to be a huge adventure and I can't wait to see what's going to happen!

Till Next Time...

Afterthoughts...

I think it's really bizarre that after one day, an entire social world was opened to me.

21 is awesome. 

It's not just drinking though. 

...however I have had my fair share of drinks since the the 15th...

It's more about this feeling of freedom. Like, I can go wherever I like. Even in Raleigh, which I deemed the most boring place in the world, was kind of hopping Saturday night when I went out. I've been having tons of fun and I didn't have to be drunk to do it. 

21 has also given me this new found confidence in myself. I feel like an adult now and people are finally seeing that as well even though my ideas and speech patterns have not changed. It's weird. 

Anyways, I just thought I would write my thoughts on being 21. It's been nearly a week since my birthday and things have been amazing. 

I also wanted to update on the whole Europe trip! I feel like I just kind of was like, "BAM! Europe. January. Get happy." Which is true but I would like to write about it just for a bit. So yeah, January 7th I will be boarding a plane to Dublin, Ireland! I'll be there for 2 weeks and whilst I'm there, I'm planning on taking a train into London and spending a couple days there. Then, if all goes very well with timing, hopefully I can trot my way over to Paris for a day or two. Really, I just want to see the Eiffel Tower; cry; drink coffee & eat a croissant in a French cafe; weep; and take pictures of Paris at night. That's it. Then head back to Dublin and leave the 21st. I know this won't be my last time in Europe so I'm not very concerned with doing a crap-ton of things, ya know?

ALSO! I'm working on starting a fashion blog. I want to go into fashion journalism so what better way to get my name and material out there than start a blog! I already have ideas on content and stuff but I can't seem to figure out a name. I want it to stand out and really signify who I am as a person and how I want to be perceived. If you have any ideas, please send them to me! Even if you think it's silly as all crap, send it anyway. Uniqueness thrives when someone has the guts to say or do something that isn't the norm. So yeah! Any help wil do! I also need to figure out a site design so if you're good with those sorts of things, let me know.

I have to be going now! I'm meeting with some friends for adventure times and I need to figure out something to wear. Hahaha!

Till Next Time... :)

Welcome To My Brain (Stream of Consciousness)

UGH. I knew once I got back into NC that my blog writing would suffer lol Actually I didn't but I suspected it and I feel like if you expect it even a little bit, it just kind of happens.

Anyways, DC was awesome. I'm pretty sure I lost so much weight and I have legs of steel now. But I'm glad I went even though I feel like I could have stayed at least another day longer. I loved the freedom to be able to do whatever I felt like at the moment. It was much like being on my own which I really enjoy. Sometimes being here I feel like I'm not as independent as I wish I was. I know it's silly but it's the truth.

In other news, I plan on planning a few more trips just to keep my mind fresh. There's a chance I'll be heading to the western parts of NC in a couple of weeks and I hope (fingers crossed) to make a trip to New York before the year is out. I heard that the train ride there is wonderful. Long but wonderful still. :) ALSO, I'm really planning carefully to make a trip to Europe by the new year! Like for real. True story. If things work out, and I plan correctly, I should be able to do it. I will sacrifice my shopping for it which is a big deal!

I am a traveller. Body and soul. I have come to accept that. Therefore, I need to satisfy my need for travel! Hopefully these trips won't just be solo trips and I can convince people to come with me! Introverts need people too ya know.

Gosh, this is such a random post. I'm literally just typing as I'm thinking. You're getting a peek into my brain, guys. Welcome. I hope it's cozy enough for you.

Oh and happy August!!! It's the first day of my favourite month!!
If you don't know why it's my favourite month, we're not friends anymore.
(Just kidding...but really, you should find that out)

The semester also starts this month which is just wonderful lol I'm actually downgrading this semester and only taking 2 online classes (waitlisted for one more though). I felt like it was best with all this financial aid drama because the last thing I want is to be footed with a bill that is above my means, ya know?

There's a lot of other things coming up for the future and I can't wait to share everything here. I really do love this blog and the people that read it. It means a lot to me that there are people who value my words and want to stay updated with my life and with my thoughts. So thanks again :)

Till Next Time...

The Dull Overtaking...

Goodness...have I gotten boring?

This is a question I have constantly asked myself but today it came right in front of my face and sat its little self down.

Do I just play things safe?

Am I not a risk taker?

These are the questions I have been asking myself since this was brought to my face, by a person actually. They didn't call me boring because, really, in my mental state I probably would have cried. Just being real. Today was not a peachy day emotionally. But they kind of alluded that I pretty much play things safe. I have taken a seat on the bench of political correctness that I previously dreaded.

Have I really become boring?

Looking back over my posts I realised that I wanted to do a lot of things this summer:

I wanted to go to Europe.
I wanted to read more.
I wanted to elevate my style.
I wanted to elevate my writing abilities.
I wanted to play more music.

So many things and I have done nothing.

What lame-sauce is this?

It's kind of sad.

When did this happen?

I'm not sure the answer to that question but all I know is that it happened and it probably explains why I've been so unhappy lately. Deep inside my heart is a man who wants to adventure to places he's never been and take risks but lately he's been tied up and taken over by this really dull person honestly. I don't want to be the person that just goes to work and school and does nothing else. That is not the kind of person I want to be.

I want to be a person that says he's going to do something and does it; throwing caution to the wind and having his heart thrum a bit. There's no place for a boring Steven in this world. At least in my eyes.

Starting now, I refuse to be unhappy. I will do things that require a bit of heart thrumming. Now I'm not going to be stupid and go jumping off of cliffs but I will not be resigned to living a humdrum life. No sir.

What that may entail? I have no idea but I'm sure I'll find it. :)

If you have any suggestions, please send them to me! I welcome any input.

In other news, we're a month away from the launch of LifeCity!! It's kind of nerve-wracking. In a good way, I mean. ;)

It's also a month away from my 21st birthday...and the beginning of school. How convenient. Hahaha! I'm sure everything will be great even though the semester starts on my birthday. What kind of timing is that?!

Anyways, continue to pray for my car situation. I'm not worrying but with a month left before school with no prospects, it's not looking very good. However, I'm trusting God. He's got things under control. I don't know what's going on beyond what my eyes can see but I'm assured that it's working for my good. :)

Till Next Time...

P.S. I'm going to start spicing up the blog! I'm still going to be posting about my life and thoughts but I've been thinking about reviewing things or talking about things I love (music, food, etc.)! It will start with my impending trip to DC! Look for pictures and such. ;)

It's Time To Grow Up!

It has been nearly a month since I have blogged.

Problem.

Well at least I have some material to go on! First I will provide that update about school. I've had a lot of people asking me how school is going and I'm not sure how to answer that question. It changes over time. So I figured I would just sit down and really give an overview of my college "experience". I use the word "experience" lightly because I'm only taking one class on campus so I'm not really experiencing much in my opinion.
As far as my performance with school work, I'm doing very well. My grades are good which is more that I was expecting. The material is a little more difficult than I was expecting (Math being the odd exception) but I'm sure I'll get the hang of everything quickly. The assignments are overwhelming. More than once, I have finished my to-do list for the week and just stared at all the crap I have to get done. With the addition of work and other life things, it's pretty stressful
As far as my opinion of college: I'm going to be honest. I hate it. I'm not sure if it's just the school or the courses I'm taking but I don't like it at all. More than once I've caught myself in the middle of an assignment and asked myself, "What am I doing? Why am I doing this?". With that said, I am by no means going to quit. I'm going to finish out the semester and then complete fall semester before making any decisions as to whether I stay or not.

On another note, I've continued to think about my summer, what I shall be doing then and where I shall be going. I've been keeping in contact with my friend in Ireland and he's been helping me get information about internships in the UK. In fact, right after I finish here, I will be looking over some information he sent me! Granted, he sent it to me on the 1st of the month but who's paying attention, right? In addition to Europe, there are whispers of another option for the summer that I won't go into great detail about because nothing is set in stone but rest assured that it is a great potential opportunity ;)

And finally, my pastor is going through a series called "Time To Grow Up" which has been a lot of reiteration but much needed reiteration. Every year, my pastor challenges us to step out in faith and grow up. Something that stood out to me was that he said that you're not growing if you're comfortable (or something to that regard) and I've been pretty comfortable in some parts of my life. Last year it was Berklee which was such a learning experience and brought a lot of growing! This year is different. I was telling one of my friends that honestly, I haven't been praying about it. 1) because it's scary. I don't know what God will say. 2) because I'm afraid of what He will say and it will be what I'm thinking He's going to say. Does that make sense?
So if you would please pray for me that would be awesome. Pray for boldness and confidence in what God is going to say. Although I am afraid, I know that God is not going to lead me into abandonment. He is not a God to take you down a road that He will not walk with you down. I believe that wholeheartedly.

So I'm thinking that this is the year of boldness and faith! How that should be different than any year, I'm not sure but I am declaring it. Fear is not of God so therefore, I don't want it. Bring on the bold, baby! Wooo! :)

Till Next Time...

The Plan, the Planner & the European

Happy belated Christmas! :)

With Passion 2012 fast approaching (6 days!!) I've begun to start thinking about the new year and what it holds for my life. Already I know it's going to be different because around this time last year, I was preparing to make my second trip to Boston for my Berklee audition.

This year is the year of school...at least the first half of it.

I start school in a week. Can you even believe it? After 2 (going on 3) years out of school, I'm finally jumping back into the game with a whole new plan in mind. It's kind of scary; having a plan and all. I'm always scared when I have a plan. Not that it will fail but that it will change and be out of my control. I mean, that's the point of a plan: to be in control of the situations, the elements and the outcome. Changing the plan or shifting the plan's controller or even scrapping the plan altogether is most definitely not in the plan...but you know, things happen. :shudder:

Another element of this year that I've been thinking about began formulating just the past couple of months. My friends and I have been in talks of taking a trip to Europe in the Spring/Summer. It is as exciting as it is terrifying. Those who have been to Europe or Type A people in general know what I'm talking about. Planning will be key, finances will have to be in order and things just have to be right unless we plan on roughing it through the continent (which I'm not completely against actually). Furthermore, this Europe trip has got me thinking about the rest of my life.

How does that correlate?

Well I'm glad you silently wondered that because I'm about to answer!

Mind you, I only just voiced this to my friends last night (and one of my best friends gave me some really fantastic advice by the way) but I've been thinking about this since last summer.
I've made it no secret that my heart is drawn to Europe. I know it's crazy because I've never been there but I've always felt a draw to Europe. So now I'm presented with the thought of where I should invest my life. I've already created a foundation here in America but now that I'm an adult, I have to begin creating a life for myself. As my friend pointed out, my mind is already European from the way I carry myself to my style of dress to my thought processes. However, now I have to decide if or when I need to begin to put my thoughts into actions.

Definitely begin to pray for me about these things. I definitely will be haha
Also pray that the Journey College group is safe as we travel to Atlanta on Monday. I'm so very excited and will try and keep updating here.

Till Next Time...