I Have Decided...

Hey everyone

I'm sure this post won't come as a surprise to some but I feel like I still should address it in an effort to avoid retelling this over and over and over again. (Although I'm sure I'm going to rehash this for forseeable future...)
I'm going to touch on a few things in this post and it may be a bit long but bear with me!

I've been posting on this blog a lot about my dreams and aspirations; mostly for my own personal sanity but also to help inspire other people to dream bigger. There's one thing that I want to be in this world and that's an inspiration. 

Incredibly, I've gotten story after story from people who have read my blog and caused them to look at the world as an option. This blows me away and I'm honoured that people are reading my words and  are being inspired. I love that some people are seeing that America, while great in its own way and full of opportunity, is not everything. There is a whole world to explore and experience, you just have to refuse to sell yourself short, take the first step and leap. 

However, there is a flipside to everything. There is the success story, the one they write about in books,  and then there is the short end of the stick. I seem to be the poster child for the latter; being the example for the reality of pursuing dreams and aspirations.

With that being said, due to extreme financial difficulty and roadblocks, I will neither be moving to England nor attending Kingston University in the fall. 

Although I've been preparing my heart for this kind of outcome, there aren't many words to describe how completely gutted I am about all this. It's one thing to have never been accepted to university, it's a completely separate matter entirely being accepted to university and being unable to attend. It's no secret that I have an immense desire to attend university and pursue further education so this blow is a very painful one. I'm not closing the door for God to do something ridiculously insane but the current situation is pretty bleak and hurts like a motherfather.

Despite this outcome, I am looking to the positives. This opens my future to something completely different. Like I was telling someone the other day, I can always move to England, it's just a matter of when. I'm young. I have my whole life ahead of me to grow. This is only a minor setback. I said it before I opened what would be my acceptance email, even if this doesn't happen, moving to Europe is still on the table. I'm not giving up; just exploring another avenue. 

Now becomes the question: what next?? I'll be in America a bit longer so I guess I will have to make the best of it. ;)

I'm not sure what the next step looks like but rest assured that I won't be kept down by this setback. Life is too short to wallow in what has passed (or will pass), so I will be considering other options for the fall. 

As for school, I don't really know what that looks like now. I'm not sure if this is God's way of telling me to get an education here in America or not but if He wants me to go to school, He will have to point me in the right direction. I'm at my wits end with this whole thing. The pursuit of higher education should never be this difficult, in my opinion. My only issue is my utter distaste for the American school system. If God wants me to go to school here in America, I'm hoping patience will be attached to the package...next to a big, fat check...I'm kidding!

Okay, okay I was kidding a little...but you laughed, I know you did.

I will still continue to write (of course), I'll still be working on my style blog and providing excellent life commentary on Twitter & Instagram. Rest assured, I'm not going to let this get me down. :) 

Anyway, thank you guys for supporting me and cheering me on. It is greatly appreciated and I love you for it. I hope you continue to be in my corner in the future and follow along with me. In two weeks I'll be 22 and I'm actually looking forward to seeing what is next for me. Sure I won't be making Europe arrangements but that's still cool...yeah...:ahem:....lol 

To those who didn't want me to leave in the first place, you get to keep me for a while! 

You're welcome. ;) 

Till Next Time...

European Adventure: Part One

Happy Tuesday! 

So it happened. 

I finally went to Europe. 

Just to be able to say that is remarkable and I can hardly believe it's true. I feel like I've been living a dream the past two weeks. Well...really I have! I've just woken up whilst being home and realising that it could be a permanent reality with school fast approaching. 

I kept a sort of diary during my travels and I thought it would be cool to share portions of it on my blog. It will be done in parts because my trip was quite long and I don't want to type a twelve page dissertation haha! 

Anyways, I'll get on with it. 

(In Raleigh...)

Sitting in my room before heading to the airport, all my bags are packed...

At the gate! Smells like airport. It's always interesting looking at everyone at the gates. Such a diverse grouping. I love the fact that you don't really know everyone's final destination. 

I'm constantly praying but it's for the silliest thing: my bags. This is the first time I have checked my bags for a flight and I am praying that they make it to Dublin safely. I've already taken precautions but I never know! 

I can't believe I'm going to Europe and that by this time tomorrow I will be halfway across an ocean heading to Ireland. Very surreal. Becca is so excited! She's planning all these secret things...

This morning was a little rough. I knew I would cry sometime today but there was something about seeing my mom this morning and bidding her goodbye that made me cry. This is a dream come true. Really cheesy but it is. I am going to a place that before now, I only dreamed and read about. 

My daddy is so funny. I know he doesn't like getting up early in the morning which made seeing his sleepy face in my doorway even more hilarious. We talked the whole way to the airport. Mostly about how he hopes my flights go well and that he hopes I get a good seat on the plane...

I can't wait to see my uncle in Chicago! I have an immense layover and he's being so gracious and showing me about the city. I haven't seen him in ages! ...

(In Chicago...)

My day in Chicago was so excellent! I got to spend most of my day with my uncle and it was so fun talking with him and everything. I am currently sitting at the gate waiting to board my flight to Dublin. I'm kind of in shock. I think this is an acute case of out-of-body syndrome or something. I need to process...

That was all I wrote for the day but when I landed, which was technically the second day of my holiday, Becca and Stephen whisked me away and showed me so much of Dublin. We first went to Stephen's house where I changed and met his younger brother. Then we headed off to Dundrum to this giant mall. There we *ahem* spent a substantial amount of currency on clothes. Afterwards, we went straightaway into town. I couldn't tell you all the streets we went down (I think it was Dame Street and a few others) but there was so much to entertain. Little coffeeshops down alleys and long thoroughfares of shops. Tons of people and great weather abounded as well. Towards the evening, we went to a restaurant called Crackbird and once I actually tasted the chicken, I understood why it was thusly named. It's literally the best chicken I have ever put into my mouth. Honestly. If you ever find yourself in Dublin, go to Crackbird. Please. You will not be disappointed. It'll change your life. 

After dinner, we headed off to Becca's, where I was staying. There I met her housemates and by the time the day came to a close, it was nearly one in the morning. Becca and Stephen had successfully kept me up all day so when I hit the pillow, there was no waking up until the proper time. Fair play to them both! 

The next day, which would be day three, Becca and I hit the town! We started off going to Butler's Chocolate shop to get some hot chocolate which was by far the tastiest hot chocolate I have tasted. Next we headed to Hodges Figgis which is a bookstore in Dublin. Three floors of gorgeous books from all around the world and I was just in heaven. From there, we headed to St. Stephen's Green Park. The park is enormous. Becca and I took the opportunity to take loads of photos and stalk the geese, ducks and swans that populated the park's lovely ponds. Becca and I continued to paint the town red going to tons of shops including Brown Thomas, a luxury department store similar to Harrods.

We began our evening with crepes at Lemon and wine before heading to Becca's friend, Stef's house for dinner with another one of her friends, Aisling. 

It was such a fantastic couple of days and my next post will continue with my trip to London! 

Till Next Time...

P.S. Part one photos from the trip are HERE! Part two photos from London are HERE!