Where to start!
So the Passion: White Flag album came out about a week ago and 1. it has been on consistently since the release and the soundtrack to work & 2. it has been reminding me about everything that went on during Passion. During that week, God was just so big to me! Seeing thousands of people gathered for the Lord is proof enough that He is working. Knowing that, I'm comparing to where I am now post-Passion, post the experience, post-Passion high. God has me in transition. He is moving me from a season to a new season and it's great! And God is still big! Even bigger now that I am in a place where I need to trust Him and I need to lean on Him. God has to be big. Bigger than anything I can conceive. And He is! :)
That being said, I have to report that there have been no meltdowns since leaving Journey! Yay! There were, however, many tears on my last Sunday. So. many. tears. But this is a good thing. I was talking to my friend the other day and just telling her that I'm expecting it to be difficult. So when things are difficult, I know that it's because I'm moving in the right direction. Growth does not come about without pain and difficultly. I think a lot of people don't think about that. They want to grow in Christ but the minute they feel some resistance, they stop and ask God to take away their pain. In that moment I can just imagine God being like, "what are you expecting me to do?!?"
Darby actually spoke about this at Refuel last Wednesday. He said, "when we take away trials and struggles, we take away the avenue of growth." And this is true in every instance. I believe he likened growth to weight lifting. There's going to be resistance there. It's going to be uncomfortable and painful but pressing on will yield growth.
Anyways, that was a bit of a rabbit trail but it needed to be addressed. :) So transitioning! Yes. It's going great. I've finally begun to let myself be happy and excited about being at LifeCity. Before, I felt a little hesitant about voicing my happiness to a group of my friends who knew I was leaving and were sad about it. But now, I'm allowing myself to be excited! I shouldn't have to squelch my joy. God is doing amazing things which calls for excitement and joy!
I'm looking forward to meeting with my missional community group next week and hopefully starting to play in a worship capacity soon! I've missed playing music and worship is my passion. Being away from it has made me a little antsy haha But I've been reminding myself of something that has been my rock when things get a little wonky. I remind myself of God's sovereignty. Anything He does is for my good even when it doesn't look how I expect it to look. He has my best interest in mind and I have no place to question God's methods :) It has been working because I'm not stressing as much and I've just been at peace with things going on around me :)
Also, there's a song from the Passion album that is pretty much my anthem. Helps with the "not stressing as much" :) Take a listen and just let it be your prayer. It's pretty amazing. :)
You Revive Me
Till Next Time...
3.21.2012
2.25.2012
Dispelling the Whispers: Rumour Has It...
:sigh:
I guess it's about time to address the whispers going around and speeding through the grapevine. I always knew that word traveled fast around Journey but it's just different when I experience is first hand. 1. It ruins all surprises and 2. It gets to important people well before I can get to these certain important people...
However, now that I haveinformed confirmed certain things to certain important people, I felt it would be good for the rest of the populace to hear straight from the horse's mouth.
The rumours are true. I have decided to be a part of a core team of people to help launch LifeCity Church in August! LifeCity is led by Darby Jurls and his wife Amy and I'm behind them 100%. I believe in the vision they have and I trust Darby implicitly. I'm very excited and completely terrified in the best way possible haha!
I always knew that I was supposed to make a big move of faith this year and this is it! Of course, I thought it was Europe but I'm actually quite thrilled that it isn't. In fact, I'm pretty sure that this is better that Europe. I can already feel God stretching me to do things and step out in faith in a completely different way and it's awesome!
It's also kind of sad because Journey has been my home for 6 years and just as I'm getting into a comfortable swing, God is scooping me out and setting me on my way lol But that's also a part of the problem. I have become quite comfortable at Journey and kind of plateaued spiritually. In Jimmy's message, something that stuck out to me is that growing isn't comfortable. That convicted me for quite a while so I decided to do something about it.
In all of this, in leaving Journey, I've actually come to understand it better which is completely weird. I'm finally understanding the vision of Journey and the strategy that Jimmy has. Journey is a launching pad. It trains up new believers to maturity and then launches them into the world to fulfill the mission Christ set out for the Church. I always sort of understood it in a way while I was attending but looking back I can see it clearly now. I grew up so much in these past 6 years and now I'm nearing the launching zone with these great people.
I can already feel like it's going to be hard making the transition but it's not going to actually hit home until March 18th (yes, March) when we branch off from Journey and meet as a core team for 6 months until we launch. However, this does not mean the end of all friendships at Journey; I am not falling off the face of the planet. I live like 2 blocks away from the church for crying out loud! I'm trying to hold on to that fact to keep from emotionally spiraling haha!
So the journey begins, and I'm ready for it. I'm currently actively looking for a car and getting started with things in that regard. It's going to be tough because I have a super low budget but my God is greater! I told God, "I have $1,000. I need a car. I'm giving this to You and trusting that You will come through." So that's that! I'm still searching but I know God is working already :)
Till Next Time...
I guess it's about time to address the whispers going around and speeding through the grapevine. I always knew that word traveled fast around Journey but it's just different when I experience is first hand. 1. It ruins all surprises and 2. It gets to important people well before I can get to these certain important people...
However, now that I have
The rumours are true. I have decided to be a part of a core team of people to help launch LifeCity Church in August! LifeCity is led by Darby Jurls and his wife Amy and I'm behind them 100%. I believe in the vision they have and I trust Darby implicitly. I'm very excited and completely terrified in the best way possible haha!
I always knew that I was supposed to make a big move of faith this year and this is it! Of course, I thought it was Europe but I'm actually quite thrilled that it isn't. In fact, I'm pretty sure that this is better that Europe. I can already feel God stretching me to do things and step out in faith in a completely different way and it's awesome!
It's also kind of sad because Journey has been my home for 6 years and just as I'm getting into a comfortable swing, God is scooping me out and setting me on my way lol But that's also a part of the problem. I have become quite comfortable at Journey and kind of plateaued spiritually. In Jimmy's message, something that stuck out to me is that growing isn't comfortable. That convicted me for quite a while so I decided to do something about it.
In all of this, in leaving Journey, I've actually come to understand it better which is completely weird. I'm finally understanding the vision of Journey and the strategy that Jimmy has. Journey is a launching pad. It trains up new believers to maturity and then launches them into the world to fulfill the mission Christ set out for the Church. I always sort of understood it in a way while I was attending but looking back I can see it clearly now. I grew up so much in these past 6 years and now I'm nearing the launching zone with these great people.
I can already feel like it's going to be hard making the transition but it's not going to actually hit home until March 18th (yes, March) when we branch off from Journey and meet as a core team for 6 months until we launch. However, this does not mean the end of all friendships at Journey; I am not falling off the face of the planet. I live like 2 blocks away from the church for crying out loud! I'm trying to hold on to that fact to keep from emotionally spiraling haha!
So the journey begins, and I'm ready for it. I'm currently actively looking for a car and getting started with things in that regard. It's going to be tough because I have a super low budget but my God is greater! I told God, "I have $1,000. I need a car. I'm giving this to You and trusting that You will come through." So that's that! I'm still searching but I know God is working already :)
Till Next Time...
2.13.2012
It's Time To Grow Up!
It has been nearly a month since I have blogged.
Problem.
Well at least I have some material to go on! First I will provide that update about school. I've had a lot of people asking me how school is going and I'm not sure how to answer that question. It changes over time. So I figured I would just sit down and really give an overview of my college "experience". I use the word "experience" lightly because I'm only taking one class on campus so I'm not really experiencing much in my opinion.
As far as my performance with school work, I'm doing very well. My grades are good which is more that I was expecting. The material is a little more difficult than I was expecting (Math being the odd exception) but I'm sure I'll get the hang of everything quickly. The assignments are overwhelming. More than once, I have finished my to-do list for the week and just stared at all the crap I have to get done. With the addition of work and other life things, it's pretty stressful
As far as my opinion of college: I'm going to be honest. I hate it. I'm not sure if it's just the school or the courses I'm taking but I don't like it at all. More than once I've caught myself in the middle of an assignment and asked myself, "What am I doing? Why am I doing this?". With that said, I am by no means going to quit. I'm going to finish out the semester and then complete fall semester before making any decisions as to whether I stay or not.
On another note, I've continued to think about my summer, what I shall be doing then and where I shall be going. I've been keeping in contact with my friend in Ireland and he's been helping me get information about internships in the UK. In fact, right after I finish here, I will be looking over some information he sent me! Granted, he sent it to me on the 1st of the month but who's paying attention, right? In addition to Europe, there are whispers of another option for the summer that I won't go into great detail about because nothing is set in stone but rest assured that it is a great potential opportunity ;)
And finally, my pastor is going through a series called "Time To Grow Up" which has been a lot of reiteration but much needed reiteration. Every year, my pastor challenges us to step out in faith and grow up. Something that stood out to me was that he said that you're not growing if you're comfortable (or something to that regard) and I've been pretty comfortable in some parts of my life. Last year it was Berklee which was such a learning experience and brought a lot of growing! This year is different. I was telling one of my friends that honestly, I haven't been praying about it. 1) because it's scary. I don't know what God will say. 2) because I'm afraid of what He will say and it will be what I'm thinking He's going to say. Does that make sense?
So if you would please pray for me that would be awesome. Pray for boldness and confidence in what God is going to say. Although I am afraid, I know that God is not going to lead me into abandonment. He is not a God to take you down a road that He will not walk with you down. I believe that wholeheartedly.
So I'm thinking that this is the year of boldness and faith! How that should be different than any year, I'm not sure but I am declaring it. Fear is not of God so therefore, I don't want it. Bring on the bold, baby! Wooo! :)
Till Next Time...
Problem.
Well at least I have some material to go on! First I will provide that update about school. I've had a lot of people asking me how school is going and I'm not sure how to answer that question. It changes over time. So I figured I would just sit down and really give an overview of my college "experience". I use the word "experience" lightly because I'm only taking one class on campus so I'm not really experiencing much in my opinion.
As far as my performance with school work, I'm doing very well. My grades are good which is more that I was expecting. The material is a little more difficult than I was expecting (Math being the odd exception) but I'm sure I'll get the hang of everything quickly. The assignments are overwhelming. More than once, I have finished my to-do list for the week and just stared at all the crap I have to get done. With the addition of work and other life things, it's pretty stressful
As far as my opinion of college: I'm going to be honest. I hate it. I'm not sure if it's just the school or the courses I'm taking but I don't like it at all. More than once I've caught myself in the middle of an assignment and asked myself, "What am I doing? Why am I doing this?". With that said, I am by no means going to quit. I'm going to finish out the semester and then complete fall semester before making any decisions as to whether I stay or not.
On another note, I've continued to think about my summer, what I shall be doing then and where I shall be going. I've been keeping in contact with my friend in Ireland and he's been helping me get information about internships in the UK. In fact, right after I finish here, I will be looking over some information he sent me! Granted, he sent it to me on the 1st of the month but who's paying attention, right? In addition to Europe, there are whispers of another option for the summer that I won't go into great detail about because nothing is set in stone but rest assured that it is a great potential opportunity ;)
And finally, my pastor is going through a series called "Time To Grow Up" which has been a lot of reiteration but much needed reiteration. Every year, my pastor challenges us to step out in faith and grow up. Something that stood out to me was that he said that you're not growing if you're comfortable (or something to that regard) and I've been pretty comfortable in some parts of my life. Last year it was Berklee which was such a learning experience and brought a lot of growing! This year is different. I was telling one of my friends that honestly, I haven't been praying about it. 1) because it's scary. I don't know what God will say. 2) because I'm afraid of what He will say and it will be what I'm thinking He's going to say. Does that make sense?
So if you would please pray for me that would be awesome. Pray for boldness and confidence in what God is going to say. Although I am afraid, I know that God is not going to lead me into abandonment. He is not a God to take you down a road that He will not walk with you down. I believe that wholeheartedly.
So I'm thinking that this is the year of boldness and faith! How that should be different than any year, I'm not sure but I am declaring it. Fear is not of God so therefore, I don't want it. Bring on the bold, baby! Wooo! :)
Till Next Time...
1.12.2012
Welcome to 2012! Please Fasten Your Seat Belts, Thank You...
Wow! It's 2012!
To say that the beginning of 2012 was eventful is an understatement! Remember that scene in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory (the original, not the remake) where they're on the boat and it goes through the tunnel? (Yes, the really creepy scene) Well that how I felt and still feel to this day, minus the creepy. Haha!
First there was New Year's Eve which I spent with my family and with my best friend (sparkling cider, what what?!), then there was New Year's Day which was spent with my second family: Journey Church. Then the very next day began the first day of PASSION CONFERENCE! I and eleven people from my college small group loaded up into a van and headed down to "Hotlanta" which was actually quite freaking cold (it flurried one night!). As expected, the first day is always the one that passes by the fastest because you're driving, getting hotel things in order, registration, crowds of people, excitement, bags and tags and lanyards and wristbands and places here and there and everywhere!
Anyways, the rest of the week was just amazing. I always go to Passion expecting but not expecting.
I'll explain.
I'm expecting God to move in my life but I'm not expecting anything specifically if that makes any sense at all. I don't want to limit God in my thinking so by simply expecting Him to have His way, I'm opening the door for anything He has to throw at me. And He threw a lot! The main cause for this week was about human trafficking and slavery in the world. There are on average, 27 million slaves in the world which is the highest it has ever been in human history. That's ridiculous. When I heard about it, I was blown away. I had heard of Free Trade periodically but never really investigated what it really was. Little did I know that I was closing myself off to the fact that there are 27 million people who are being denied their God given right to be free people.
The whole week was kind of branching off of that and let me tell you, God certainly moved. Some of my favorite moments of the week was Beth Moore. She spoke on the woman with the issue of blood. I had heard of the story but no one ever bothered to speak on it. She explained her affliction and that her act of reaching for Jesus' garment that she was 1) exhibiting faith that Jesus would heal her and 2) basically coming out in public that she was unclean and defiled. Beth said something that I put a star next to in my notes and it was "do not sit and wait for something to happen, have faith and reach". That spoke volumes to me seeing that I have been planning to go to Europe this summer. Faith will be the only way this will happen.
Another was Christine Caine. I love her so much. 1) because she's Australian and 2) her method of speaking is very engaging and powerful. She spoke on compassion and how we as the church ought to not sit on our haunches and nod meaningfully when we hear of something like slavery. We cannot call that compassion. She said that compassion isn't compassion until you get up and do something about it. We as the church need to mobilise and reach out because that's what Jesus did for us. Christine said something else that resounded with me and it was that "God wants to use rescued people to rescue people". That's so true and I think we as Christians forget about that. We get caught up in everything else that we forget that we were rescued and that Jesus called us to reach out and tell other people that their salvation rest in Jesus Christ.
Next was John Piper. Oh Piper haha! I'm always daunted when he walks onto the platform and preaches because his method of teaching is very...hard to follow if you're not devoting all of your attention to what he is saying. But what he says is so profound and amazing that you respect the headache you receive afterwards! Anyways, he spoke about what it truly means to be free. His entire message is incredible but the part that hit me the hardest was this: "Freedom is being so in love with Christ that you can do what you love to do and be in accordance with His will". I mean...wow. Just thinking about that begins to break down the walls in my mind. We tend to box God in as ask "what is Your will for my life?". What John and (eventually) Louie Giglio say is that God's will for your life is right here and now. What ever aspirations you have, do them and that is God's will for your life. God wants us to be free! Free to love Him and to do what we love for Him. It's amazing really. Simply amazing.
And lastly, the candlelight vigil. All through the week, Passion had begun construction on a sculpture of a hand on the International Plaza in Atlanta that would represent Freedom. (see picture)
On the last night of the conference, we were asked to walk in complete silence to the International Plaza, unlit candles in hand. I felt like that was such a powerful moment. 45,000 18 to 25 year olds walking in complete silence to one location. That spoke volumes and still gives me chills when I think about it.
When it became midnight, we lit the candles and then when the hand finally lit, we shouted as loud as we could. It was amazing! Just being there in that moment with all those people who were on the same page that I was, shouting for freedom and shouting for Christ was just indescribable.
So to say that Passion was life changing is an understatement. I'll always carry that week with me and I can feel that I'm changed. I'm actually going through an adjustment phase because it's difficult for me to actually get back into the swing of things and start with school (I will talk about that in a later post).
Anyways, if you are still reading, congratulations! This was a very lengthy post and you are a champ for reading it all! :)
Till Next Time...
To say that the beginning of 2012 was eventful is an understatement! Remember that scene in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory (the original, not the remake) where they're on the boat and it goes through the tunnel? (Yes, the really creepy scene) Well that how I felt and still feel to this day, minus the creepy. Haha!
First there was New Year's Eve which I spent with my family and with my best friend (sparkling cider, what what?!), then there was New Year's Day which was spent with my second family: Journey Church. Then the very next day began the first day of PASSION CONFERENCE! I and eleven people from my college small group loaded up into a van and headed down to "Hotlanta" which was actually quite freaking cold (it flurried one night!). As expected, the first day is always the one that passes by the fastest because you're driving, getting hotel things in order, registration, crowds of people, excitement, bags and tags and lanyards and wristbands and places here and there and everywhere!
Anyways, the rest of the week was just amazing. I always go to Passion expecting but not expecting.
I'll explain.
I'm expecting God to move in my life but I'm not expecting anything specifically if that makes any sense at all. I don't want to limit God in my thinking so by simply expecting Him to have His way, I'm opening the door for anything He has to throw at me. And He threw a lot! The main cause for this week was about human trafficking and slavery in the world. There are on average, 27 million slaves in the world which is the highest it has ever been in human history. That's ridiculous. When I heard about it, I was blown away. I had heard of Free Trade periodically but never really investigated what it really was. Little did I know that I was closing myself off to the fact that there are 27 million people who are being denied their God given right to be free people.
The whole week was kind of branching off of that and let me tell you, God certainly moved. Some of my favorite moments of the week was Beth Moore. She spoke on the woman with the issue of blood. I had heard of the story but no one ever bothered to speak on it. She explained her affliction and that her act of reaching for Jesus' garment that she was 1) exhibiting faith that Jesus would heal her and 2) basically coming out in public that she was unclean and defiled. Beth said something that I put a star next to in my notes and it was "do not sit and wait for something to happen, have faith and reach". That spoke volumes to me seeing that I have been planning to go to Europe this summer. Faith will be the only way this will happen.
Another was Christine Caine. I love her so much. 1) because she's Australian and 2) her method of speaking is very engaging and powerful. She spoke on compassion and how we as the church ought to not sit on our haunches and nod meaningfully when we hear of something like slavery. We cannot call that compassion. She said that compassion isn't compassion until you get up and do something about it. We as the church need to mobilise and reach out because that's what Jesus did for us. Christine said something else that resounded with me and it was that "God wants to use rescued people to rescue people". That's so true and I think we as Christians forget about that. We get caught up in everything else that we forget that we were rescued and that Jesus called us to reach out and tell other people that their salvation rest in Jesus Christ.
Next was John Piper. Oh Piper haha! I'm always daunted when he walks onto the platform and preaches because his method of teaching is very...hard to follow if you're not devoting all of your attention to what he is saying. But what he says is so profound and amazing that you respect the headache you receive afterwards! Anyways, he spoke about what it truly means to be free. His entire message is incredible but the part that hit me the hardest was this: "Freedom is being so in love with Christ that you can do what you love to do and be in accordance with His will". I mean...wow. Just thinking about that begins to break down the walls in my mind. We tend to box God in as ask "what is Your will for my life?". What John and (eventually) Louie Giglio say is that God's will for your life is right here and now. What ever aspirations you have, do them and that is God's will for your life. God wants us to be free! Free to love Him and to do what we love for Him. It's amazing really. Simply amazing.
And lastly, the candlelight vigil. All through the week, Passion had begun construction on a sculpture of a hand on the International Plaza in Atlanta that would represent Freedom. (see picture)
 |
| Freedom Hand Passion 2012 |
When it became midnight, we lit the candles and then when the hand finally lit, we shouted as loud as we could. It was amazing! Just being there in that moment with all those people who were on the same page that I was, shouting for freedom and shouting for Christ was just indescribable.
So to say that Passion was life changing is an understatement. I'll always carry that week with me and I can feel that I'm changed. I'm actually going through an adjustment phase because it's difficult for me to actually get back into the swing of things and start with school (I will talk about that in a later post).
Anyways, if you are still reading, congratulations! This was a very lengthy post and you are a champ for reading it all! :)
Till Next Time...
12.27.2011
The Plan, the Planner & the European
Happy belated Christmas! :)
With Passion 2012 fast approaching (6 days!!) I've begun to start thinking about the new year and what it holds for my life. Already I know it's going to be different because around this time last year, I was preparing to make my second trip to Boston for my Berklee audition.
This year is the year of school...at least the first half of it.
I start school in a week. Can you even believe it? After 2 (going on 3) years out of school, I'm finally jumping back into the game with a whole new plan in mind. It's kind of scary; having a plan and all. I'm always scared when I have a plan. Not that it will fail but that it will change and be out of my control. I mean, that's the point of a plan: to be in control of the situations, the elements and the outcome. Changing the plan or shifting the plan's controller or even scrapping the plan altogether is most definitely not in the plan...but you know, things happen. :shudder:
Another element of this year that I've been thinking about began formulating just the past couple of months. My friends and I have been in talks of taking a trip to Europe in the Spring/Summer. It is as exciting as it is terrifying. Those who have been to Europe or Type A people in general know what I'm talking about. Planning will be key, finances will have to be in order and things just have to be right unless we plan on roughing it through the continent (which I'm not completely against actually). Furthermore, this Europe trip has got me thinking about the rest of my life.
How does that correlate?
Well I'm glad you silently wondered that because I'm about to answer!
Mind you, I only just voiced this to my friends last night (and one of my best friends gave me some really fantastic advice by the way) but I've been thinking about this since last summer.
I've made it no secret that my heart is drawn to Europe. I know it's crazy because I've never been there but I've always felt a draw to Europe. So now I'm presented with the thought of where I should invest my life. I've already created a foundation here in America but now that I'm an adult, I have to begin creating a life for myself. As my friend pointed out, my mind is already European from the way I carry myself to my style of dress to my thought processes. However, now I have to decide if or when I need to begin to put my thoughts into actions.
Definitely begin to pray for me about these things. I definitely will be haha
Also pray that the Journey College group is safe as we travel to Atlanta on Monday. I'm so very excited and will try and keep updating here.
Till Next Time...
With Passion 2012 fast approaching (6 days!!) I've begun to start thinking about the new year and what it holds for my life. Already I know it's going to be different because around this time last year, I was preparing to make my second trip to Boston for my Berklee audition.
This year is the year of school...at least the first half of it.
I start school in a week. Can you even believe it? After 2 (going on 3) years out of school, I'm finally jumping back into the game with a whole new plan in mind. It's kind of scary; having a plan and all. I'm always scared when I have a plan. Not that it will fail but that it will change and be out of my control. I mean, that's the point of a plan: to be in control of the situations, the elements and the outcome. Changing the plan or shifting the plan's controller or even scrapping the plan altogether is most definitely not in the plan...but you know, things happen. :shudder:
Another element of this year that I've been thinking about began formulating just the past couple of months. My friends and I have been in talks of taking a trip to Europe in the Spring/Summer. It is as exciting as it is terrifying. Those who have been to Europe or Type A people in general know what I'm talking about. Planning will be key, finances will have to be in order and things just have to be right unless we plan on roughing it through the continent (which I'm not completely against actually). Furthermore, this Europe trip has got me thinking about the rest of my life.
How does that correlate?
Well I'm glad you silently wondered that because I'm about to answer!
Mind you, I only just voiced this to my friends last night (and one of my best friends gave me some really fantastic advice by the way) but I've been thinking about this since last summer.
I've made it no secret that my heart is drawn to Europe. I know it's crazy because I've never been there but I've always felt a draw to Europe. So now I'm presented with the thought of where I should invest my life. I've already created a foundation here in America but now that I'm an adult, I have to begin creating a life for myself. As my friend pointed out, my mind is already European from the way I carry myself to my style of dress to my thought processes. However, now I have to decide if or when I need to begin to put my thoughts into actions.
Definitely begin to pray for me about these things. I definitely will be haha
Also pray that the Journey College group is safe as we travel to Atlanta on Monday. I'm so very excited and will try and keep updating here.
Till Next Time...
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