Wait-listed...

Oh man.

I feel like I have said that every day for the past couple of weeks. But it's so fitting!

Today I registered for my classes at WakeTech...albeit 2 classes but still, it's a start.

It's kind of surreal that after all the drama that I've gone through (and still going through btw. We'll get to that later) with schools that I'm finally stepping forward and getting more education. I know a lot of people aren't a big fan of that but that's why I always recommend waiting a while after you get out of high school to decide if this is really the path you want to take. I mean it's a really big step; don't take it lightly.

Anyways, yeah it's weird. I'm taking a Political Science class (SO WEIRD) and a General Psychology class. All, and I literally mean all, of the classes I was planning to take are either closed or waitlisted (including my English class which makes me sad...so sad). So better luck next semester I guess haha!

Oh! Back to the drama that is happening with my school.

So...

Anyone who has dealt with any section of the government knows that it is a pain in the ass to get anything done. There are enough forms with random numbers to drown you or make you want to give up halfway through. I am of course talking about Financial Aid! Yay.

I filled out my X900TYJSJD forms and sent them promptly through priority mail to the school about a month ago only to get an email from the school at the beginning of the month stating that I needed to fill them out AGAIN! How freaking fun is that, guys? And the kicker is that I got this email on the 2nd of November. The due date was on the 1st of November. Imagine my blind rage as I send strongly worded emails oddly devoid of obscenities to the Financial Aid office. It wasn't pretty.

In all of this, I was led right back to trusting God for things completely out of my hands and we all know how I love being in this position. But I have to admit that this time was harder than the others simply because I had said the same thing to God when I was dealing with Berklee. All of these old feelings of doubt and discouragement rose up and left me in a stupor for a couple days. It was only when I said, "screw it all. I can't control this so I'm just going to give this up. I don't need it despite what my head says" that I finally was allowed to be happy! I'm not saying it was easy at all but the older I get and the more experience I get, the more I find myself in situations causing me to trust God again. And He has worked it out as far as I am concerned. If I recall, all the classes I wanted to take are waitlisted and I'm only taking 2 which means less money I have to shuffle out!

Isn't God grand? I'm so glad that He's got my back even when I'm stupid :)

Till Next Time...

It All Comes Down To The Bottom Lines (Post-KidJam)

Hello reality! Didn't see you there. Have you been there all this time?

So I, along with 4 other awesome leaders, just came back from Camp KidJam in Winston-Salem at Wake Forest University and to say that it was insane is an understatement. Haha! The camp was non-stop and I'm pretty sure there's some sort of time fluctuation machine being built on campus because I'm sure 3 weeks had passed.

Anyways, throughout camp I just kept getting smacked in the face. No. Not by a rambunctious child but by God. See, I always go to camp. It's what I've done since I've joined the children's ministry. There's never been an 'if' (except that one time I was on vacation :P) it has always been 'go'. But there was just something about this year at camp that was different. It was really weird because it was the first time that I really thought about camp and was so close to backing out for no real reason other than that I thought I was falling into a routine. Luckily, I didn't back out because I ended up being so blessed by the kids and by the message they were being taught. It was on this trip that I actually felt somewhat confident about leading a small group. I've always felt as though I was a horrid teacher (still think that) but knowing that although the kids were moving about, they were absorbing what I was saying and able to say it back to me. I know it was God because there was no way in heck that was coming from me! But God knew that was what I needed to hear. I needed to realize that my voice is important and that what I say has impact. It was just remarkable.

Another thing that just blew me away about camp was the way all of the bottom lines were applicable to my life.
Me.
A 19 (almost 20 :D) year old adult person.
I will list the bottom lines from camp:

God wants to do something in me that is bigger than just me...
I have to keep depending on God's power in my life...
What is important to Jesus should be important to me...
When things get hard don't forget what you know...
When I trust in Jesus He promises He will always be with me...
God wants to use me to show others the power of forgiveness... 


What. The. Crap.

When I heard the first one, I will never forget it, I was on my blackberry and when the storyteller (who tried to steal my Starbucks....) said that from the stage my head snapped up and stared at the screen. It was what I needed to hear and it took everything in me to not cry on the spot. And then it just kept going with each bottom line.

Then I got to thinking about what powerful Christ followers we are helping raise up. These kids are learning truths that I still struggle with which is awesome because they have all their lives to learn how it applies to their lives. It makes me a little jealous because I believe that if I had their knowledge about God at their age, I would have grown up with a lot less doubt in my life.

I thank God everyday that I have been put in a position that I am able to convey these truths to our kids in a manner in which they will be able to retain and gain confidence in God. I try not to think about it too much because I will start to feel unworthy but it is such an honor and I'm so grateful for Journey for allowing me to be involved. :)

Till next time...