Detour...

In every journey, there are stops and starts.

This happens to be my detour...

As many of you know, I am gearing up to leave the country for school. Super crazy and stressful. Did I mention stressful? Especially when things don't quite go as planned. My original plan was to apply for a bunch of scholarships and also apply for a loan for the rest of my expenses (ex. Visa costs, moving costs, flights). However, when I went to apply for the loan, they were about to deny me but asked instead for a co-signer. I never wanted a co-signer. It wasn't just that I didn't want help; I need all the help I can get. It was more to the fact that this was my decision. I never wanted anyone else to have to sacrifice anything for me. I've supported myself through the entirety of my college experience(s) and I wasn't really prepared to have to bring in someone else. 

Never mind the fact that there was no one else to bring in. 

You can imagine my distress. This was the plan. Apply for scholarships. Apply for loans. Go to Kingston. This needed this to work because it was the only plan I could see. My hope began to fail. One of my reservations about college in the first place was finances and now it looked like it was going to be my undoing...

But there is no denying that God has placed this on my life. There is nothing I feel more strongly than me being in England. The draw has been there since I was little and has only grown stronger the more I  have gotten older. 

Someone once said that God uses our circumstances to show Himself off. Someone else said that God is privy to our circumstances; our cries and distresses. He is not ignorant to our situation and I have to keep that in mind for me or else I will go insane. 

It's still taking every ounce of courage and strength to even say "I'm going" rather than "I might go" but I will continue to say that I'm going. 'When' not 'if'. I must remain faith-filled and speak things as they are already. This goes against everything my brain tells me. I've talked about this before about me being a planner. I need to see what's around the corner and I need to plan accordingly. I like to control the situation. But in controlling the situation, I take responsibility for the outcome. Whether that be good or bad, it's on me. 

So, in this current season of doubt and uncertainty, I must hold on to the things I know:

God is faithful.

God sees.

God hears.

Faith is not seeing, it's believing in the Author of Faith. 

Anything that happens does not escape the eye of God. 

God knows my heart and how much this is painful for me. 

If you're reading this, please continue to pray. I'm still trusting in God but my brain keeps seeing Kingston slipping through my fingers and that scares me. I know there are other ways to move to Europe but I've put a lot into this and to see it crumble will be so humiliating...

Anyways, thanks everyone :)

Till Next Time...

A Dash of Reflection...

Hmm...well this is interesting...

For the first time in my life, I feel like progress is being made; like hope is on the horizon, gleaming. Filling me with warmth and pushing me to strive on further.

I am, of course, talking about music stuff.

For the first time I actually feel like a musician. I've been playing for years, pushing forward, trying my hardest to 'make it' but now I think I'm starting to understand what it really means to be one.
The past couple of years haven't exactly been peachy, both musically and personally. Some people (:ahem mom & dad:) more than others can attest to that but I can see how it has shaped me into the Steven Sharpe sitting here writing this.
I feel like God is very cleverly showing Himself actively in my life finally! I know He was always there dropping hints but now I can see it. Just in the subtleties of life and how He throws a dash of this or that to shift my perspective in a positive way. And the evidence of that couldn't be found more than in the way I play my music.
He revealed my heart to myself and I was in awe at how real it was.
God changed my focus from 'me' back to 'Him'. I stopped looking for musically opportunities to benefit myself and began listening and waiting for Him to work His plan in my life. Now things are looking up! I have an awesome friend teaching me sheet music, a great opportunity coming up in the next couple of weeks and I'm leaving tomorrow for the Greek Intervarsity Conference in Charlotte with some of my favorite people to play music with!
Makes me so excited and eager to see what God has in store for me. I know He will have His way. I only want to let Him.

So with that being said, I'm going to continue practicing (and packing...gosh lol). I just ask that you pray for me and the team heading to Charlotte tomorrow night. Pray that we have safe travels and that we stay focused on God so to be able to effectively minister to these university students through worship.
Thanks! :)

Till Next Time...