The Lamp on the Foggy Path

...I really don't know how to open this so I'm just going to jump to the story, which isn't a story at all by the way, that got me thinking...which is sometimes a good thing ;)

This literally happened this morning...or yesterday morning. Either way, it was dark and morning time and early and I was just in a mood. Anyways, so I normal walk to work since my job is like right by my house and this morning (or yesterday) I was on my way to an early morning shift. As I was walking, I was reflecting on my rather awkward relationship with God as of recent. The past few weeks I had been using my walk to work as time to chat with God and talk out some things. But this particular morning (which ever morning it was) I felt the urge to talk to Him...and I just couldn't. There was just something there and I was so afraid to be the first to break the silence. I related it to an instance between two friends. They were getting really close; talking to each other on a regular basis, sharing time, secrets, jokes. Then something happens. They both know what happened but one can't seem to confront the other with what is bothering him

Now I know that the relationship between God and His children is way more than friendship but something way deeper. But when you're still getting to know God, like really trying to work towards a deep relationship, you have to start somewhere! It begins with the surface things, builds trust and then grows into something more.

And I have been always wondering where I stood in regard to me and God and in that moment of walking to work, it was revealed where I was. I was finally on my way to a relationship! I know it sounds silly but in that moment I smiled and was just glad that in the midst of all this confusion and questions, light was shed on my position with God.

Then I began to see how was working in me. At Passion, God helped me dig through the crap in my life and reach my foundation. He revealed that I was building my life on something other than Him and is helping me build back up through this rather simple task of getting to know Him. For the first time since giving my life to Christ, I have been able to understand what it means to have relationship. That we don't start out by having this deep and personal relationship, we work towards it! It's literally blowing my mind haha

As for what I will do about school, I have not decided whether to pursue Berklee again. However I know that God has given me a passion for music and that He will use me through music. I just need to continue to trust God no matter what. Even when I don't understand.
Especially when I don't understand.
I just need to 'pick a lane', as Pastor Jimmy had said :)
Just continue to pray as I enter this rather foggy part of my journey. I have faith that things will work together for this little unfinished clay pot ;)

Till Next Time...