It's so amazing how quickly I get under something that I got over.
Like being disappointed over things I can't control. It's a complete waste of time and I know it. But the minute that I'm determined to dwell in the present and be thankful.
BOOM.
POW.
I'm back in business.
It's a stupid business.
And it's frustrating! How, if I am in freedom, keep loading up the chains? Paul spoke about this in one of his letters and it's so honest. It's like the most honest statement in the Bible in my opinion. He does things he doesn't want to do and the things he wants to do, he can't find himself doing.
It's an endless cycle of wishing and washing and battling against the sinful nature that is embedded into my every fiber. It really does make my skin crawl.
And the most frustrating part is that people pretend that there's nothing wrong! Like, hellooooo do you not see the problem here? This is what you should be doing and this is not. You are in the not. It's frustrates the crap out of me. When will it end? When will we stop lying to ourselves and others and just admit we are faulty and go to God.
I know I am the last person to be saying this because I have the hardest time asking for help for anything. From God. People. Anyone. And currently, I'm not really happy with God at the moment.
Just being honest.
But I know the truth. We just have to open our hearts and let Jesus hammer away at us. We are His little sculptures. Especially crafted. Handmade by the Creator. He has the final end in mind and is molding us till we complete the masterpiece He has set us.
Now when you think of it in that way, it sounds so poetic, right?
Wonderful process but it's so painful.
Sorry about the rant. I think I was long over-due for one. And congrats for getting all the way to the end! You're a trooper :)
Till Next Time
So true, friend! It reminds me of the process of gold being refined by fire. It's a painful process because you must take away all of the impurities. But the cool thing? The man working on the gold knows it's finished because he can see his own reflection in the gold. :)
ReplyDeleteI think it's in the daily dying of self that we'll be shaped and molded. Like you said, such a process only to be perfected in the next life but made easier day by day as we get to know Him!