The Roundabout

I think I've got it now!

Okay so earlier this month (or maybe it was last month?) I finally realized where I wanted to be. And it wasn't the place I expected to be but somehow I always knew it was where I would end up. I shall explain and cease being cryptic.

In my college small group a while ago we were talking about what we wanted to be as kids and what we want to be now. The latter question always freak me out. Don't ask me why. I'm just weird.
Peoples' "kid" answers varied from astronaut to elephant and their "now" answers varied from still deciding to travelling the globe.
Anyways, it came to be my turn. "When I was a kid I wanted to be a scientist, then wanted to be an astronomer. That didn't last long. Then I wanted to be psychologist."

I could already feel the pressure as I got closer to the question that has been haunting simmering in me for the longest time. "What do you want to do now?"

I just opened my mouth and said the first thing that came in my head.
It wasn't a scientist, for that required me to know things I was not good at.
It wasn't an astronomer because I mean really...
It wasn't a psychologist, for I found out I wouldn't legally see my first patient till I was 30 and it turns out that I don't have as much patience for people's problems as I originally thought...
And it wasn't even music even though I love playing music and will probably continue throughout my life.

"I want to be a journalist. I want to write and travel the world."

Well that was easy.

But in was literally in that moment that everything just kind of fell into place. I've been writing since I was little and it has been one of the most constant things in my life. I never really thought that I could do this as a career because to me it was fun! It came naturally to me and it was, and still is, the best way that I communicate to people. It makes sense!

And it turns out that 2 of my very best friends are going to be studying that same field so how cool is that?! I want to say that God gave me such a grand revelation but really, He gave me that passion to me a long time ago. It just took over 10 years to realize it. Haha! How crazy is that? That God gives us things and takes us on the roundabout way only to bring us to the place where we can tell ourselves that this is what we want and what we've always wanted. That's God's perfect timing once again because I would have never admitted to myself that I wanted to be a journalist a year ago or even 2 years ago. But all it took was one person saying, "you're good at this. You should look into moving forward with writing" for me to begin to mull it over and then for my college group leader to ask that question that scared me for so long.

So! After all of this, I have taken the steps towards journalism knowing that God's got this. I have submitted my application to Wake Tech for the spring semester in their transfer program. (NEVER thought that would happen...) I'm still in the process of admission but after that is over I will be taking online classes (thanks Shelbs for piquing me to that information :)). After I finish the transfer program I will transfer my credits to UNC for their journalism degree! Just writing that makes me smile! :D

Please continue to pray for me. Pray that I don't lose sight of God in the midst of all this paperwork and that I always remember that God's got this! Thanks!

Till Next Time...

One Word...

Love.

This word and its meaning has been brewing in me for a week now.

Let me first back up and explain.

On Monday at my church's college group, our college pastor spoke on love and the Hebrew words for love. Now I had always heard about the Greek words for love ( agape, eros and philia) but no one has ever spoken about the Hebrew words.

Anyways, the Hebrew words for love are Raw-Aw - which is like the root of love; where all love stems from; when you can truly see a person in all their crap and still love them.

A-Hab-Ba - which is a deep affection; like "there's no other place I would rather be than with you" kind of love

And then there is Dode - which is the "mingling of souls". There's really no other way to describe it other than that.

I found these words fascinating 1. because I had never been taught them and 2. because they were all so deep. There wasn't a love that was just flippant. All the words had a commitment. They required a fair amount of sacrifice to use.

It really got me thinking about how I use the word 'love'. I've become so flippant with my usage that its become trivial. At least to other people it will sound trivial. I mean, what if I were talking about my favorite band (which is The Reign of Kindo right now. Fun Steven fact for ya) and about how much I love them and then turned to my best friends and say I love them too. I most certainly don't love my friends like I love The Reign of Kindo and they know that but still! They would never know the true value in that word when I use it.

A lot of us at this point would start to say, "I wish there was another word of love so we could differentiate". Which I totally agree with but we have to be realistic. We cannot change the English language. That's ridiculous. So because we cannot change the word for love in English our only alternative is to be cautious. We need to be mindful of what we say and how we say it.
We have one word for love.
It needs to count for something more.

Furthermore, in 1 John 4:8 it says "...whoever does not love, does not know God because God is Love..." So not only is the word love more than how we use it for everyday things, it's actually a descriptor of God Himself. In my head, that makes it even more sacred. And it kind of convicts me because if our Holy God chose that word to describe Himself then the last thing I should be doing is throwing it around every which way.

All in all, I felt like I needed to share that simply because it's been weighing on me and challenging me in how I convey my feelings. I don't want my words to mean nothing. When I speak there ought to be impact.

I hope this challenges anyone who is reading this on the interwebs to be careful what you say and how you say it and what your words actual mean when you say them. When you speak, it shouldn't be "a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal" it should strike to the heart and cause change. Our words are powerful, let's not take them for granted. Remember that God spoke the world in existence using words; "the Word was with God and the Word was God" and that the Word resides inside of us. With this knowledge, just imagine what our words can create in people's hearts and minds.

Till Next Time...

Fear...

Fear.

When you see or hear that word, what are the first things that pop into your mind?

I know for me, fear usually means vulnerability...rejection...failure...

It's not something that we look forward to in life but it is a part of it because we are humans living in a sinful world where fear is a powerful thing. We're surrounded by it everyday on the news, out in everyday life, in our homes and in schools. But it's what we do with that fear that determines how we move forward.

For me, I'm dealing a lot with fear of failure. I've allowed that fear keep me from doing a lot of things in my life. I know with school I, of course, wanted God to have his way and lead me in the right direction but although I really did have the desire to do what God wanted, I had an underlying fear of failure and moving in the wrong direction.  But what I didn't realize is that life is a highway (yes, that just happened. :cue Rascal Flatts:). God allows us to move forward but as long as we are staying focused on God, He will place markers in our lives to guide us along. We just have to keep moving. But moving forward kind of leaves you feeling almost...bare. At least with me it does. I don't like feeling vulnerable so this is a big thing. I feel like when I step forward that I am risking my heart and risking falling on my face and that hurts a lot! But I can see that it's what we do in our failures is what helps us to grow. We ought not to wallow in our failures but give them to God. In our failure is where God shines through the most. He covers that with his love and mercy, picks us up, sets us upright and pushes us along. And I've realized that although I feel bare walking forward, I'm really not. Being God's child, he will cover me with his protection. We just need to be bold, cast aside our fear, step forward in faith and trust God to show his glory in a mighty way.

In closing, we must remember that fear is not of God. It says in 2 Timothy 1:7 that God has not given us the spirit of fear but of love and of a sound mind. And in Isaiah 41:10 it gives us reasons not to fear. It says, "... fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." We as believers in Christ do not have to live in fear. Compared to the truths in God's word, fear is illogical. There are countless reasons not to fear and proof that God takes care of his own. Like for instance, I realized that I am terrified of car accidents. Don't ask me why but I do. I'm in a car and seeing the traffic around me is seizing. It's awful. But when I really thing about it, I haven't been in any traumatizing accidents therefore my fear of car accidents is illogical and unfounded. I have to step back, know that this is a tactic of the enemy and I need to cast it aside, be bold and say, "No. God has not given this to me so I don't want it. I refuse to accept this fear." I think everyone should say that. Look their fear in the face and say "I don't want you. Go away". Be bold with your fear! I know that sounds like a paradox because fear prevents you from being bold but you have God as your backbone and his Word as your protection so you're pretty much set. :)


Till Next Time...


P.S. If Rascal Flatts is still on your mind, here is the music video! Life is a Highway. And it has clips from the movie Cars so double win! :D

The Weightiness of the Gospel

Today is the day that I wished I lived in China.

Like no joke.

At college group tonight we watched Francis Chan's message from Passion this year and he was talking about weighing our lives to the Gospel. He started talking about the underground church in China and how they are literally running for their lives for the sake of Christ. And the thing about it is that they are glad! They are glad that their lives are reflecting what Jesus said in Mark 13:13 where he says "they will hate you because of me". The Chinese people welcome this persecution because it says to them that what they are believing is true!

Francis also said that he was speaking to the Chinese people and telling them how we do things in America and they just laughed. They are laughing at us. We call ourselves Christians, I included mind you, and choose not to be bold about our faith. Over in China, if you proclaim yourself a Christian, you better mean it because you lose everything. People have died, lost their families, lost entire communities, hunted down, thrown into the street, beaten and countless other things just because they stood up and were bold about Jesus's grace.

And what pisses me off is that so many people, Americas to be exact, are bold about animal rights, women's rights, gay rights and all these other things but the majority of Christians choose to sit back and be silent. Now I'm not talking about these people who are speaking hatred into people's lives in the name of our Lord. That is wrong and the Lord sees it. I'm talking about speaking out about the love and saving grace of Jesus Christ! This is what we should be shouting about. I know I'm probably just running on adrenaline but it's true. And if you are reading this and are stirred then you know it's true too.

Personally, I don't understand why people hate the Gospel. It's saying that if you accept Jesus's sacrifice as payment for your sin that the God who created the universe and set time and reality in place looks at His children and says "You are Mine" because all He sees is His child. He doesn't see the sin we were cursed with. That curse is BROKEN! All He sees is us clean and pure and is anxious to be close to us. He adores us. He looks at us and get excited! When we speak to him he listens with intent. I could go on and on but isn't that amazing?? Sometimes I think we forget and we get caught up in our lives to the point that we kind of take God's love for granted. And please don't think I'm am speaking at people. This is coming right back to me and convicting me. I desire to be closer to God. I allow things in my life to distract me from Him. Nothing else should matter to me. Nothing else should matter to me.

All in all, I just want to have my life weigh in comparison to the Bible. Need that. I don't want to get to the end of my life, stand before God and just have indentations in a seat in a building to show for it. I want the Lord to be able to place a Bible in front of my life and not know where the Bible starts and I begin.  

A Prayer for God to Guide

I 'stumbled' upon this passage and I put stumble in quotes because I know that the Lord led me to this because it's exactly what I needed to read. Just from reading the title alone I was like "Whaaaaaat?!? Crazy."

So I shall share with you!

I hope it resonates with you as it has for me :)

Psalm 25:1-21

A Prayer for God to Guide

 ¹ Lord, I give myself to you;
 ² my God, I trust you.
    Do not let me be disgraced;
       do not let my enemies laugh at me.
 ³ No one who trusts you will be disgraced,
       but those who sin without excuse will be disgraced.
 ⁴ Lord, tell me your ways.
       Show me how to live.
 ⁵ Guide me in your truth,
       and teach me, my God, my Savior.
       I trust you all day long.
 ⁶ Lord, remember your mercy and love
       that you have shown since long ago.
 ⁷ Do not remember the sins
       and wrong things I did when I was young.
    But remember to love me always
       because you are good, Lord.
 ⁸ The Lord is good and right;
       he points sinners to the right way.
 ⁹ He shows those who are humble how to do right,
       and he teaches them his ways.
 ¹⁰ All the Lord's ways are loving and true
       for those who follow the demands of his agreement.
 ¹¹ For the sake of your name, Lord,
       forgive my many sins.
 ¹² Are there those who respect the Lord?
       He will point them to the best way.
 ¹³ They will enjoy a good life,
       and their children will inherit the land.
 ¹⁴ The Lord tells his secrets to those who respect him;
       he tells them about his agreement.
 ¹⁵ My eyes are always looking to the Lord for help.
       He will keep me from any traps.
 ¹⁶ Turn to me and have mercy on me,
       because I am lonely and hurting.
 ¹⁷ My troubles have grown larger;
       free me from my problems.
 ¹⁸ Look at my suffering and troubles,
       and take away all my sins.
 ¹⁹ Look at how many enemies I have!
       See how much they hate me!
 ²⁰ Protect me and save me.
       I trust you, so do not let me be disgraced.
 ²¹ My hope is in you,
       so may goodness and honesty guard me. 


From BibleGateway.com