Wall of Happiness...

I finally did it! 

A while back, I had a genius idea to put things up in my room. But not just things. Things that meant something to me. Things that I could look at and bring my mind to happier thoughts on a unhappy day. 

Since I was going to be moving away, I decided to put it off because what the point of putting things up if you're only going to take them down in a few months, right? Well plans have changed and the perfect storm occurred: I was feeling nostalgic, I had an idea and I got paid. 

I now present to you, my Wall(s) of Happiness.

Isn't it great?! I'm really proud of it. 

The map on the right I've had for quite a while but for some reason I never put it up. It's only been a few hours since I put it up and it's already putting me in such a great mood. This is how I'm going I'm coping for not going to Kingston haha. The photo on the left is a collage of the many things I kept from my Europe trip. I'm kind of a hoarder in that regard. I can't seem to let something go especially if it holds some emotional significance. 

Here are some other shots: 

I really adore this map on the left. I can't remember where I got it. I think it was at a yard sale or something. I'll just say it's vintage. It's what style bloggers say when they can't remember where they got something haha! The photo on the right is a larger view of the Europe wall. These are things like plane tickets and receipts from place I went to want to remember from the three countries I visited: Ireland, England and France. Some of these things no one will understand why I kept but I kind of like that. It makes it special.

The photo on the left is my favourite. I never noticed until I was putting it up that my British Airways ticket from London to Paris said "Euro Traveller". Behind the ticket is a pamphlet from Charles de Gaulle airport. When I landed and tried to get into Paris, they happened to be doing construction to the train that went straight to the city. They handed out these pamphlets explaining the situation and what they were doing for travellers. It was frustrating but I kept it because it reminded me of the bus ride into Paris where I met the nicest Australian family on holiday. They thought I was British because I picked up a bit of an accent from being in London so they were super surprised when I said I was American! Haha!  Oh, and they just so happened to be passing through Paris for the night and had just come from skiing in Japan; go figure!

The photo on the right is actually next to the world map! It's going to be a place I put things involving friends that make me happy. It's mostly just invitations from amazing weddings I've been to but will evolve...I hope haha!

This wall is the epitome of my happiness and I love it but it serves another purpose. It's also my inspiration. I've said it before in another post (maybe?) that looking at maps inspire me. Whilst I'm currently in a place where I'm not really inspired, I've created my own inspiration in hopes to better myself and my writing.

I can't wait to see this continue to grow!

Yay!

Till Next Time...

A Little Bit Wiser...

I'm a big fan of how this week started. 

Compared to how I've been feeling the past couple of weeks, I'm in a good place. Yesterday (Sunday) I got to have some really good conversations and really was able to get a different prospective on my situation and my future. 

At my church, when I'm not playing in the band, I volunteer with the check-in station for the kids department. It's something I've done for a long time and I can honestly say that I love it. I took some time away from it (much needed time) but, now that I'm back, I'm seeing why I loved it in the first place. 

Anyway, whilst the service is going on there isn't much traffic in the lobby however there is a need for someone to stand guard. It could vary between 1-3 people but it's in those times that you get to know the people you're serving alongside in a way you wouldn't during the "rush hour". During the second service, I was able to have a wonderful conversation with one of the guys who serves with the security team but also assists with the technical side of check-in (he also happens to be married to the director). I honestly can't remember the last time I had such a great conversation. Being able to talk about things like work ethic, personality, music, ambition and countless other things was so refreshing to me who absolutely loathes the small talk...

One of the significant points in the conversation for me was when I was talking about my own situation and how I feel impatient with how things are progressing with my life/career. I can see my own potential but my potential isn't recognised or appreciated, I get self-aware and conscious of my work. 

"Am I doing something wrong?" 

"Am I not good enough?" 

"Am I asking for too much?"  

One thing he said was (I'm paraphrasing) that yes it's good to see your own potential but this time doing proverbial "grunt work" is actual preparation for elevation. As cliche as that sounds. People who elevate too quickly usually find themselves overwhelmed and unable to function properly. Much like getting the bends when coming up from deep water too quickly. 

It really spoke volumes to me and brought a whole new prospective on what is going on. I shouldn't doubt myself just because I'm not being elevated but I should perfect my work until the time comes when I'm recognised for my work and given an opportunity. That way, I won't get the "work bends" and won't find myself in a corner, rocking myself, drinking whiskey from a bottle because I'm so stressed out

Later that day, I was able to have a seriously real and honest conversation with my best friend. She's one of the people that gives it to me straight and doesn't tell me what I want to hear which is what I desperately needed. I truly don't think she realises how much she helps me by being honest about what she's seeing in the situation. Our conversation allowed me to step back get a wider view of what is going on and be realistic without losing my dream. It also made me optimistic about the future and what my next step is. 

With that being said, I created a list. Something to reference to when I start to lose focus. This list is divided into 3 sections: 

What do I want for my life? 

What do I love(am passionate about)? 

& How can I reconcile these things together?

From this list (which is more detailed in my journal), I've determined that I want to be doing something involving travelling, writing and music. These are the things I'm passionate about. I believe this is general enough to be flexible yet narrow enough to give me focus. I also said I want an education. I am passionate about learning and the fact that getting to university has been such a struggle frustrates me. However, I am willing to fight for my own further education.

I can already see this finally making me grow up some more and make some adult decisions about my life that I've been afraid to do. I don't think my brain has quite realised that I am an adult and I need to make decisions that no one else is going to make for me. Well I am a little bit wiser thanks to my friends and I'm ready to figure this thing out no matter how long it takes.

:) 

Till Next Time...